No, I told myself firmly, you shared a kiss with Stark as he was dying. He was a different kid before Neferet messed with him, but now she has messed with him and you have to remember that. You shared a nightmare with Kalona. Period. Thats all there was to it.
The fact that in my nightmare Kalona had insisted I was A-ya was just crazy. It wasnt true. Sure, Id felt drawn to him, but so had practically everyone else. Plus, I was me, and A-ya had been, well, dirt until the Ghigua women had breathed life and special gifts into her. I must look like her, weird as that is, I told myself. Or maybe hed called me A-ya just to mess with my head. That seemed more than possible, especially if Neferet had told him stuff about me.
Nala had settled back down on the pillow beside Stevie Rae and was purring again with her eyes shut. Obviously there were no nightmare monsters lurking about because Nala would have been freaked. Glad at least of that, I gave her head and Stevie Raes a little patneither opened her eyesand then ducked through the blanket door and into the hallway.
The tunnels were absolutely silent. I was glad that the oil lanterns were still lit; darkness and I werent exactly on good terms right then. Ill also admit that, even though I kept a wary eye on the shadows between lights for bats and whatnot, it did feel reassuring to be snuggly underground and not anywhere near open, moonlit meadows or trees with ghostly shadows perched in them. I shivered. No. Dont think about it.
On the way to the kitchen I paused by Kramishas doorway and peeked quietly in. I could just make out her head in the middle of her bed under mounds of purple comforter and pink pillows. The Twins were zonked out on sleeping bags with their hateful cat, Beelzebub, curled up on the floor between them.
I closed the blanket flap quietly, not wanting to wake up the Twins before it was their turn to be on watch. Actually, I should grab my brown pop and relieve Damien and Jack and let the Twins sleep. I definitely wouldnt be doing any more sleeping for a whilelike years. Okay, just kidding. Sort of.
No one was in the kitchen. The only sound was the small, homelike hum of the refrigerators. The first one I opened caused me to take a little step back in shock. The entire fridge was filled with sealed baggies full of blood. Seriously. And, of course, my mouth started to water.
I slammed the door shut.
And then reconsidered and opened it again. Resolutely, I grabbed a baggie. Id had next to no sleep. I was under major stress. A stupid immortal fallen angel bad guy was after me and calling me some dead dirt girls name. Lets face it, I needed a lot more than brown pop to get through the day.
I found the scissors in the top drawer of the butcher block island and, before I could guilt or gross myself out of it, snipped open the bag and upended it.
I know, I know. My slurping down blood like it was from a collapsible juice box sounds completely nasty, but it was delicious. It didnt taste like blood, or at least not that coppery, salty way blood used to taste to me before I was Marked. It was delicious and electrifying, like drinking rare gourmet honey mixed with wine (if you like wine) mixed with Red Bull (but better tasting). I could feel it spreading through my body, giving me a jolt of energy that chased away the lingering terror of my nightmare.
I crumpled up the empty baggie and tossed it in the big garbage can in the corner of the room. Then I grabbed a bottle of brown pop and a bag of nacho cheese Doritos. I mean, my breath already smelled gross from the blood. Might as well have Doritos for breakfast.
Then I realized: one, I didnt know where Damien and Jack were, and two, I really needed to call Sister Mary Angela and find out how Grandma was doing.
Yeah, I know it sounds weird that I was calling a nun. It sounds even weirder that I trusted said nun with my grandmas life. Literally. But all the weirdness stopped the moment I met Sister Mary Angela, prioress of the Benedictine nuns of Tulsa. Besides doing nun stuff (praying and whatnot), Sister Mary Angela and the nuns from the abbey run Tulsa Street Cats, which is how I met her. Id decided that House of Night fledglings needed to get more active in the community. I mean, the House of Night had been in Tulsa for upward of five years, but it was like we were a little island of our own. Everyone with any sense knows isolation and ignorance equal prejudicehello, I read Martin Luther King Jr.s Letter From Birmingham Jail the beginning of my sophomore year. Anyway, what with two vampyre professors being nastily murdered, Shekinah had agreed with my idea of helping a community charity, as long as I was well protected. Which was how Darius had gotten so involved with me and my group. So, Id chosen Street Cats, well, cause what with all the cats at the House of Night, it just made sense.
Sister Mary Angela and I had hit it off from the moment we met. Shes cool and spiritual, and wise and nonjudgmental. She even thinks that Nyx is just another version of the Virgin Mary (and Mary is majorly important to the Benedictine Sisters). So I guess you could say Sister Mary Angela and I became friends, and when Grandma was attacked by the Raven Mockers and ended up in St. Johns Hospital in a coma, it was Sister Mary Angela I called to sit with her and protect her from the Raven Mockers hurting her again. When all hell broke loose at the House of Night irit Zand Neferet killed Shekinah and had Stark shoot Stevie Rae, Kalona rose, and the Raven Mockers became substantial, it was Sister Mary Angela who got Grandma safely belowground.
Or at least in theory she was supposed to have gotten Grandma, and the rest of the sisters, underground. I hadnt talked to her since last night, just before our cell service was cut off.
So, in order of importance, I needed to call Sister Mary Angelaassuming my phone was working againand then get directions to Damien and Jack so I could relieve them. Figuring I could kill two birds at once, I retraced my path back down the tunnel, heading for the basement entrance and Darius. Hed know how to get to the boys, and I could probably get cell service in the basementunless the aboveground world had gone all postapocalypse and cell service was out forever. Thankfully, being filled with blood made me feel slightly optimistic, and even the possibility of a disgusting (and unattractive) I Am Legendtype world didnt seem utterly hopeless.
One thing at a time. Id just take it one thing at a time. First, Id find out how Grandma was. Then Id relieve Damien and Jack. Then Id try to think my way through that awful nightmare.
I remembered the dark angels voice and the way pain and pleasure had somehow melded into one when he touched me and called me his love. I jerked my mind from those kinds of thoughts. Pain couldnt equal pleasure. What I had felt in the dream was just that, a dream, and by the definition of dream (or nightmare) that meant it wasnt real. And I was definitely not Kalonas love.
It was about then that I also realized some of the nerves skittering through my body were fearful, and that had nothing to do with Kalona. While Id been preoccupied with thinking about him Id been pretty much ignoring the subconscious tightening in my body. My heartbeat had sped up again. My stomach rolled. I had the distinct and terrifying feeling that I was being watched.
I spun around, expecting to seeat the very leastbats flapping nastily around. But there was nothing except the dead silence of the deserted, lantern-lit tunnel stretching behind me.
You are utterly freaking out, I said aloud to myself.
As if my words had caused it, the lantern closest to me went out.
Dread filled me, and I started backing down the tunnel, keeping my eyes open for anything that might be more than my imagination. And I backed into the metal ladder that had been welded to the wall and led up into the basement of the depot. Giddy with relief at finding the end of the tunnels, I balanced my can of brown pop in one hand and smooshed the big bag of my breakfast Doritos noisily in the other. I had just started to climb when a strong male arm appeared from above, scaring the bejeezus out of me.
Here, give me the pop and chips. Youre going to fall right on your butt trying to hold on to them and the ladder.
My gaze flew up to see Erik smiling down at me. I swallowed quickly and gave him a perky Thanks! Handing him the pop and chips, I made my way more easily up the rest of the ladder.
The basement was several degrees colder than it was in the tunnels, which felt good on my fear-flushed face.
I like that I can still make you blush, Erik told me, stroking my hot cheek.
I almost blurted that I was freaked by shadows and unseen crap down in the tunnels, but I could imagine him laughing and accusing me of jumping at bats again. And what if I was just ultrasensitive because of the dream? Did I really want to talk to Erik, or anybody, about Kalona right then?
No.
Instead I said, Its cold up here, and you know I hate it when I blush.
Yeah, the temperatures dropped like crazy in the past few hours. Its going to be an icy mess out there. You know, I think youre adorable with those pink cheeks.
You and my grandma are the only two people in the world who think that, I said, smiling begrudgingly at him.
Well, that puts me in good company. Erik chuckled, reaching for a chip while I glanced around the basement. Everything was quiet up here, too, but not scary quiet like the stupid tunnels. Erik had a chair pulled over near the entrance to below and beside it were a couple oil lanterns (brightly burning), a half-empty liter bottle of Mountain Dew (eesh!), and, surprise, surprise, Bram Stokers Dracula with a bookmark stuck in it at about the halfway point. I waggled my brows at him.
What? I borrowed it from Kramisha. He was smiling kinda guiltily, which made him look like an adorable little boy. So, I admit it. Ive been curious about the book ever since you told me a while ago that its one of your favorites. Im only about halfway through, so do not tell me what happens.
I grinned at him, flattered that he was reading Dracula just because of me. Oh, please, I teased. You know how the book ends. Everybody knows how the book ends. I really loved that Erik was this big, tall, hot, studly guy who reads all sorts of books and watches old Star Wars movies. My grin got wider. Sooooo, youre liking it?
Yeah, I am. Even though I didnt really expect to. His grin mirrored mine. I mean, come on. It is a little old school, what with the vamps being monsters and all.
My mind instantly went to Neferet, whom I considered a monster in a beautiful disguise, and to my unanswered questions about the red fledglings, but I pulled my thoughts away from all that, not wanting darkness to intrude on this moment with Erik. Refocusing on Dracula, I said, Well, yeah, Dracula is supposed to be a monster and all, but I always feel sorry for him.
You feel sorry for him? Erik was obviously surprised. Z, hes pure evil.
I know, but he loves Mina. How can something thats pure evil know love?
Hey, Im not that far in it yet! Dont give it away.
I rolled my eyes at him. Erik, you have to know Dracula goes after Mina. He bites her and she starts to change. Its through Mina that the Count is tracked and eventually
Stop! Erik said, laughing as he grabbed me and covered my mouth. I wasnt kidding. I dont want you to tell me how it ends.
My mouth was covered by his hand, but I knew my eyes were smiling at him.
If I take my hand away, do you promise to be good?
I nodded.
Slowly, he uncovered my mouth, but he made no move to step away from me. It felt nice to be close to him. He was gazing down at me, with a small smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth. I thought about how hot he was and how glad I was that we were together again, and I said, Want me to tell you how I wish the book ended?
His brows lifted. How you wish? Which means you wont really be telling me the ending?
Cross my heart. Automatically, I crossed my heart. We were standing so close that the back of my hand brushed his chest.
Tell me. His voice had gone deep and intimate.
I wish Dracula hadnt let everyone come between him and Mina. He should have bitten Mina, made her like him, and then taken her away so they could be together foreverand lived happily ever after.
Because theyre the same and they belong together, he said.
I looked up into Eriks amazing blue eyes and saw that all the kidding had gone out of them.
Yeah, even if bad things happened in their past. Theyd have to forgive each other for the bad stuff, but I think they could have.
I know they could have. I think when two people care about each other enough, anything can be forgiven.
Obviously Erik and I werent talking about fictional characters from an old book. We were talking about ourselves, testing each other to see if we could actually make it work between us.
I had to forgive Erik for being so awful to me after hed caught me with Loren. And he had been horrible, but the truth was Id hurt Erik a lot more than hed hurt meand not just with Loren. When Id first started dating Erik, Id still had a relationship with Heath, my human boyfriend. It had pissed Erik off that I had been seeing him and Heath at the same time, but hed believed that I would come to my senses eventually and understand that Heath was a part of my old world, my old life, and that he wouldnt fit into my future like Erik would.
And Erik had a point. Now that the Imprint with Heath had been broken, which I knew for sure because he and I had had a very ugly scene when I ran into him just a couple of days ago at Charlies Chicken (of all places). My ridiculous mistake in having sex with Loren had had a domino effect of messing up lots of things in my life. One very big mess-up was the painful way it had broken my Imprint with Heath, and hed made it clear he didnt ever want to see me again. Sure, Id warned Heath about the Raven Mockers and Kalona being loose, told him to get himself and his family to safety, but it was over between Heath and me, just like it had been over between Loren and me (even before hed been killed), which is really how it should be.