An automatic reflex had me yanking my wrist from his grasp.
His blue eyes narrowed at me. At that instant he looked mad and mean, and seemed more a stranger than a boyfriend.
Youre not going anywhere with him, he repeated to me.
My temper spiked. I cannot stand being bullied. It was one of the reasons my moms new husband and I never got along. At his core, the step-loser was nothing more than a big bully. Suddenly I was seeing that same attitude reflected in Erik. I knew it would break my heart later, but just then my anger was burning too hot for any other emotion to cool my reaction.
I didnt yell. I didnt scream and smack him like I really wanted to. Instead, all I did was shake my head and say in my coldest voice, Erik, enough. Just because were back together doesnt mean you can tell me what to do.
How about does it mean you dont cheat on me again with your human boyfriend? Erik snapped.
I gasped and took a step back from him like hed slapped me. Why the hell do you think you can talk to me like that? My stomach clenched up so hard I thought I was going to be sick, but I ignored it, meeting Eriks angry glare with a steely stare of my own. As your girlfriend, youve just pissed me off. As your High Priestess, youve just insulted me. And as someone with a working brain, youve made me wonder if youve lost every bit of your sense. What do you think Im going to do in the minute or so Id be alone with Heath standing outside in the parking lot during an ice storm? Lie down and let him do me right there on the cement? Is that really the kind of girl you think I am?
Erik didnt say anything; he just kept glaring at me.
In the electric silence Heaths chuckle was supermocking. Hey, Erik, let me give you a little advice about our Zo. She really, really, really doesnt like it when you try to tell her what to do. And thats how shes been since, uh, I dunno, third grade or so. I mean, even before she got the vamp mojo from her goddess, she hated to be bossed around. Heath held out his hand to me. So would ya walk outside with me for just a sec so we can talk without an audience?
Yes, yes I would. I think I need some fresh air, I said. Ignoring Eriks pissed-off stare and Heaths offered hand, I stomped over to the metal grating that looked way more closed and secure than it was and with an annoyed shove pushed it aside and walked out into a very nasty winter evening. The blast of cold wet air felt good on my heated face, and I breathed deep, trying to calm down and not shriek my frustration with Erik up into the bruised gray of the sky.
At first I thought it was raining, but pretty quickly I realized it was more like the sky was spitting little pieces of ice. It wasnt coming down thick, but it was constant, and the parking lot, railroad tracks, and the side of the old depot building were already starting to take on the weird magical look of being gilded with ice.
My trucks just over there. Heath pointed to where his truck was parked at the edge of the deserted parking lot under a tree that had obviously at one time been planted as an ornament near the sidewalk that wrapped around the depot. Years of being ignored and not pruned had really messed with it, though, and instead of fitting neatly into its circular opening in the cement, the tree had grown way bigger than it should have and its roots had broken the sidewalk around it. Its ice-slick limbs swayed precariously close to the old granite building; some of them were actually leaning on the roof. Just looking up at the tree made me cringe. If we got much more ice, the poor old thing was probably going to shatter into zillions of pieces.
Here, Heath held one side of his coat up over my head. Come on over to my truck so we can talk out of this mess.
I glanced around at the gray, soggy landscape. Nothing seemed frightening or freakyas in half-man, half-bird grossness. It was just wet and cold and empty.
Okay, yeah, I said, and let Heath lead me over to his truck. I probably shouldnt have let him hold his coat over me and tuck me close to his side while I clutched on to him to keep from falling on the ice-slick pavement, but it felt so familiar and easy to be with him that I didnt even hesitate. Lets face it, Heaths been in my life since I was in grade school. I was literally more comfortable with him than with anyone else in the world, except for my Grandma. No matter what was going on, or not going on, between us, Heath was like family to me. Actually, hes better than the vast majority of my family. It was hard to imagine trying to treat him all formally like he was a stranger. After all, Heath had been my friend before hed become my boyfriend. But he can never just be my friend again; therell always be more between us than that, whispered my conscience, but I ignored it.
We got to his truck and Heath opened the door for me, the interior smelling of an odd, familiar mixture of Heath and Armor All. (Heath is a neat freak about his truck; I swear you could eat off the seats.) Instead of sliding in, I hesitated. Sitting next to him in the cab of his truck was just too intimate, too reminiscent of the years I had been his girlfriend. So instead, I pulled a little away from him and half sat, half leaned on the end of the passengers seat, enough out of the icy rain to stay semidry. Heath gave me a sad smile, like he understood that I was doing my best to resist being with him again, and leaned against his side of the open door.
Okay, what did you want to talk to me about?
I dont like you being here. I dont remember everything, but I do remember enough to know that the tunnels down there are bad news. I know you said those undead kids have changed, but I still dont like you being down there with them. It doesnt seem safe, he said, looking serious and worried.
Well, I dont blame you for thinking its disgusting down there, but it really has changed. The kids are different, too. They have their humanity back. Plus, its the safest place for us right now.
Heath studied my face for a long time, then he let out a heavy sigh. Youre the one whos the priestess and stuff like that, so you know what youre doing. It just feels weird to me. Are you sure you shouldnt go back to the House of Night? Maybe this fallen angel guy isnt as bad as you think he is.
No, Heath, hes bad. Just trust me on this one. And the Raven Mockers are seriously dangerous. Its not safe to go back to school. You didnt see him when he rose out of the ground. Its like he can put a spell on fledglings and vampyres. Its really creepy. You already know how powerful Neferet is. Well, I think Kalona is even more powerful than her.
That is bad, Heath agreed.
Yeah.
Heath nodded and didnt say anything. He just looked at me. I looked back at him, and somehow got caught by his sweet, brown-eyed gaze. Id been sitting there in silence for a while, just looking into his eyes, when I started to be intensely aware of him. I could smell Heath. It was the nice, soapy, Heath smell that Id grown up with. He was standing close enough to me that I could feel the heat from his body.
Slowly, without saying a word, Heath took my hand and turned it over so that he could look at the intricate tattoos that decorated it. He traced the pattern with one of his fingers.
Its really amazing that this has happened to you, he said softly, still studying my hand. Sometimes when Im waking up in the morning I forget that youve been Marked and youre at the House of Night, and the first thing I think is how much Im looking forward to knowing youre going to be at the game Friday night watching me play. Or that I cant wait to see you before school getting sausage rolls and your brown pop at Daylight Donuts. He looked up from my hand and into my eyes. And then I wake all the way up and remember that you wont be there for any of those things. That wasnt so bad when we were Imprinted, cause I still felt like I had a chance, that I still had a part of you. But now even thats gone.
Heath made my insides tremble. Im sorry, Heath. II just dont know what else to say. I cant change any of this.
Yes, you can. Heath lifted my hand and pressed my palm against his black Broken Arrow Tigers football shirt just over his heart. Can you feel it beating? he whispered.
I nodded. I could feel his heartbeat, steady and strong, if a little fast. It reminded me of the incredibly delicious blood that was pounding through his veins and how good it would feel to take just a tiny little bite of himAnd now the pounding of my heart was beating in double time along with his.
Last time I saw you, I said that it hurt too much to love you. But I was wrong about that. The truth is it hurts too much not to love you, Heath said.
Heath, no. We cant. My voice was rough as I tried to talk through the desire I was feeling for him.
Of course we can, babe. Were good at being together. Weve had lots of practice at it. Heath stepped closer to me. He took the pointing finger of my hand from his chest and ran his thumb lightly over my nicely manicured nail. Is it true that your fingernails are hard enough that they can cut through skin?
I nodded. I knew I should walk away and back down to the tunnels and the life that waited for me there, but I couldnt. Heath was also a life that waited for me and right or wrong it was almost impossible for me to walk away from him.
Heath took my finger and lifted it so that my nail was pressed lightly against the soft place where his neck curved into his shoulder.
Cut me, Zo. Drink my blood again. His voice was deep and harsh with desire. Were already connected. Well always be connected. So put the Imprint back between us where it belongs.
He pressed my fingernail harder against his neck. We were both breathing heavily now. When my nail broke through his skin, making a small scratch on his neck, I watched, mesmerized, as an exquisitely thin ribbon of scarlet sprang up against the paleness of his skin.
The smell hit me then, the utterly familiar scent of Heaths blood. The blood Id once Imprinted as my own. Nothing can compare to the scent of fresh human blood, not another fledglings and not even an adult vampyres blood is as compelling, as hypnotically desirable. I felt myself leaning toward him.
Yes, babe, yes. Drink from me, Zo. Remember how good it feels? Heath whispered while his hand on my waist pulled me into him.
Couldnt I just take one little taste? So what if I Imprinted with Heath, again? Hell, of course, wed Imprint. And thats not so bad. I loved being Imprinted with him. Hed liked it, too, until
Until Id broken the Imprint along with his heart and quite possibly irreparably damaged his soul.
I shoved him away and lurched out of the cab of the truck, stepping quickly around Heath. The icy rain actually felt good as it fell on my face, cooling the heat of my bloodlust.
I have to go back, Heath, I said, trying hard to get my breathing and my racing heart under control. You have to go back, too, where you belong. And thats not here.
Zoey, whats wrong? He took a step toward me, and I moved one more step away from him. What did I do?
Nothing. ItsIts not you, Heath. I pushed my wet hair back from my face. Youre great. Youve always been great, and I do love you. Thats why this cant happen between us again. Imprinting with me isnt good for you, especially not right now.
Why dont you let me worry about whats good for me and whats not?
Because you dont think straight when it comes to me and you! I shouted. Remember how painful it was when our Imprint broke? Remember how you said it made you feel like you wanted to die?
Then dont break it again.
Its not that simple. My life isnt that simple anymore.
Maybe youre just making it too complicated. Theres you. Theres me. We love each other, and we have since we were kids, so we should be together. The end, he said.
Life isnt a book, Heath! Theres no guarantee of a happy ending, I said.
I dont need a guarantee if I have you.
Thats just it. You dont have me, Heath. You cant. Not anymore. I shook my head and held up my hand to stop him when he started to say something else. No! I cant do this right now. I just want you to get in your truck and go back to B.A. Im going to go back down there. To my people and my vampyre boyfriend.
Oh, please! You and that vamp asshole? No way are you going to put up with his crap, Zo.
This isnt just about Erik and me. The truth is you and I cant happen, Heath. You need to forget about me and go on with your life. Your human life. I turned my back on him and made myself walk away. When I heard him following me, I didnt look back. I just yelled, No! I want you to leave, Heath, and I dont want you to come back. Ever.
I held my breath and heard his footsteps stop. I still didnt look at him. I was afraid if I did that, I would turn around, run back to him, and hurl myself into his arms.
I was almost to the old metal grate when I heard the first croaking caw. The sound stopped me like Id run into a brick wall. I whirled around. Heath was standing in the freezing rain under the tree just a few feet from his truck. I spared hardly a glance for him. My eyes darted up into the dark branches of the ice-bowed tree.
Within the shadows of the naked boughs a darkness stirred. It reminded me of something, and I blinked, staring at it and trying to remember where Id seen something like it before. Then the image shiftedchangedI gasped as it became more visible. Neferet! She was clinging to a thick, ice-slick branch that leaned against the roof of the depot. Her eyes blazed crimson and her hair whipped around her crazily, like she had been caught in a sudden wind.
Neferet smiled at me. Her expression was so purely evil that I felt frozen in place.
Then, as I stared up in horror, her image shifted again, wavered, and where the image of the tainted High Priestess had been, there was now a huge Raven Mocker. The thing perched on the side of the depot roof wasnt human and it wasnt animal. It was a terrible mutated mixture of both. It was staring at me with eyes the color of blood and the shape of a mans. Its human arms and legs were naked, looking vile and perverted emerging from the body of a gigantic raven. I could see its forked tongue and the glistening saliva that dripped hungrily from that horrible maw.