Those Times and These - Irvin Cobb страница 4.

Billy Priest, speakin fur all of us, says hell give him an answer later. So the commandin general conceals his disappointment the best he kin and retires on back to his own headquarters, leavin us to discuss the proposition amongst ourselves. Some of the boys favour thro win in with the Liberals right away, bein hongry fur a fight, I reckin, or else sort of dazzled by the idea of becomin colonels and majors overnight. But Billy suggests that mebbe wed better jest sort of hang round and observe the conduct and deportment of these here possible feller warriors of ourn whilst theyre under hostile fire. Speakin pusson-ally, he says, I must admit I aint greatly attracted to them ez they present themselves to the purview of my gaze in their cammer hours. Before committin ourselves, sposen we stand by and take a few notes on how they behave themselves in the presence of an enemy. Then, therell be abundant time to decide whether we want to stay a while with these fellers or go long about our business of lookin fur the Southern Confederacy.

That sounded like good argument, so we let Billy have his way about it, and we settled down to wait. We didnt have long to wait. The next day about dinner-time, here come the Imperial army, advancin in line of battle. The Liberals moved out acrost the desert to meet em and we-all mounted and taken up a position on a little rise close at hand, to observe the pur-ceedins.

Havin had considerble experience in sech affairs, I must say I dont believe I ever witnessed such a dissapintin battle ez that one turnt out to be. The prevailin notion on both sides seemed to be that the opposin forces should march bravely toward one another ontil they got almost within long range and then fur both gangs to halt ez though by simultaneous impulse, and fire at will, with nearly everybody shootin high and wide and furious. When this had continued till it become mutually bore-some, one side would charge with loud cheers, ashootin ez it advanced, but prudently slowin down and finally haltin before it got close enough to inflict much damage upon the foe or to suffer much damage either. Havin accomplished this, the advancin forces would fall back in good order and then it was time fur the other side to charge. I must say this in justice to all concerned there was a general inclination to obey the rules ez laid down fur the prosecution of tie kind of warfare they waged. Ez a usual thing, I spose it would be customary fur the battle to continue ez described until the shades of night descended and then each army would return to its own base, claimin the victory. But on this occasion something in the nature of a surprise occurred that wasnt down on the books a-tall.

Right down under the little rise where us fellers sat waitin, stood them four guns that the Liberals bought off of Shelby. Ef brass cannons have feelins and I dont know no reason why they shouldnt have them cannons must have felt like something was radically wrong. The crews were loadin and firin and swabbin and loadin and firin agin all jest ez busy ez beavers. But they plum overlooked one triflin detail which the military experts have always reguarded ez bein more or less essential to successful artillery operations. They forgot to aim in the general direction at the enemy. They done a plentiful lot of cheerin, them gun crews did, and they burnt up a heap of powder and they raised a powerful racket and hullabaloo, but so fur ez visible results went they mout jest ez well have been bombardin the clear blue sky of heaven.

Well, fur quite a spell we stayed up there on the brow of the hill, watchin that there engagement. Only you couldnt properly call it an engagement by rights it wasnt nothin but a long distance flirtation. Now several of our boys had served one time or another with the guns. There was one little feller named Vince Hawley, out of Lyons Battery, that had been one of the crack gunners of the Western Army. He held in ez long ez he could and then he sings out:

Boys, do you know whuts ailin them pore mistreated little field-pieces down yonder? Well, Ill tell you. Theyre Confederate guns, born, bred, and baptised; and theyre cravin fur Confederate hands to pet em. It mout be thisll be the last chance a Southern soldier will ever git to fire a Southern gun. Wholl go long with me fur one farewell sashay with our own cannons?

In another minute eight or ten of our command were pilin off their horses and tearin down that little hill behind Vince Hawley and bustin in amongst the Mexies and laying violent but affectionate hands on one of the twelve-pounders. Right off, the natives perceived whut our fellers wanted to do and they fell back and gave em elbow-room. Honest, son, it seemed like that field-piece recognised her own kind of folks, even way off there on the aidge of a Mexican desert, and strove to respond to their wishes. The boys throwed a charge into her and Hawley sighted her and then kerboom off she went!

Off the Imperial forces went, too. The charge landed right in amongst their front ranks ez they were advancin it happened to be their turn to charge takin em absolutely by surprise. There was a profound scatteration and then spontaneous-like the enemy seemed to come to a realisation of the fact that the other side had broke all the rules and was actually tryin to do em a real damage. With one accord they turned tail and started in the general direction of the Isthmus of Panama. Ef they kept up the rate of travel at which they started, they arrived there inside of a week, too or mebbe even sooner. I spose it depended largely on whether their feet held out.

Hawley and his gang run the gun forward to the crest of a little swale ready to give the retreatin forces another treatment in case they should rally and re-form, but a second dose wasnt needed. Howsomever, before the squad came back, they scouted acrost the field to see whut execution their lone charge had done. Near to where the shell had busted they gathered up six skeered soldiers fellers that had dropped down, skeered but unhurt, when the smash come and had been layin there in a hollow in the ground, fearin the worst and hopin fur the best. So they brung em back in with em and turned em over to the Liberals ez prisoners of war.

The rest of us were canterin down on the flat by now. We arrived in time to observe that some of the victorious Liberals were engaged in lashin the prisoners elbows together with ropes, behind their backs, and that whut looked like a firin squad was linin up conveniently clost by. Billy Priest went and located a feller that could interpret after a fashion and inquired whut was the idea. The interpreter feller explained that the idea was to line them six prisoners up and shoot em to death.

Boys, says Billy, turnin to us, Im afeared well have to interfere with the contemplated festivalities. Our friends are too gently-inclined durin the hostilities and too blame bloodthirsty afterward to suit me. Let us bid an adieu to em and purceed upon our way. But first, he says, let us break into the picture long enough to save those six poor devils standin over there in a row, all tied up like beef-critters fur the butcher.

So we rid in betwixt the condemned and the firin squad and by various devices such ez drawin our carbines and our six-shooters, we made plain our purpose. At that a wave of disappointment run right through the whole army. You could see it travellin frum face to face under the dirt that was on said faces. Even the prisoners seemed a trifle put-out and downcasted. Later we found out why. But nobody offered to raise a hand aginst us.