Of course Ive never seen the fellow, but its clear enough hes a humbug.
Clear enough is just what it isnt, I replied; if it only were! That ejaculation on my part must have been the beginning of what was to be later a long ache for final frivolous rest. Gravener was profound enough to remark after a moment that in the first place he couldnt be anything but a Dissenter, and when I answered that the very note of his fascination was his extraordinary speculative breadth my friend retorted that there was no cad like your cultivated cad, and that I might depend upon discoveringsince I had had the levity not already to have enquiredthat my shining light proceeded, a generation back, from a Methodist cheesemonger. I confess I was struck with his insistence, and I said, after reflexion: It may beI admit it may be; but why on earth are you so sure?asking the question mainly to lay him the trap of saying that it was because the poor man didnt dress for dinner. He took an instant to circumvent my trap and come blandly out the other side.
Because the Kent Mulvilles have invented him. Theyve an infallible hand for frauds. All their geese are swans. They were born to be duped, they like it, they cry for it, they dont know anything from anything, and they disgust oneluckily perhaps!with Christian charity. His vehemence was doubtless an accident, but it might have been a strange foreknowledge. I forget what protest I dropped; it was at any rate something that led him to go on after a moment: I only ask one thingits perfectly simple. Is a man, in a given case, a real gentleman?
A real gentleman, my dear fellowthats so soon said!
Not so soon when he isnt! If theyve got hold of one this time he must be a great rascal!
I might feel injured, I answered, if I didnt reflect that they dont rave about me.
Dont be too sure! Ill grant that hes a gentleman, Gravener presently added, if youll admit that hes a scamp.
I dont know which to admire most, your logic or your benevolence.
My friend coloured at this, but he didnt change the subject. Where did they pick him up?
I think they were struck with something he had published.
I can fancy the dreary thing!
I believe they found out he had all sorts of worries and difficulties.
That of course wasnt to be endured, so they jumped at the privilege of paying his debts! I professed that I knew nothing about his debts, and I reminded my visitor that though the dear Mulvilles were angels they were neither idiots nor millionaires. What they mainly aimed at was reuniting Mr. Saltram to his wife. I was expecting to hear he has basely abandoned her, Gravener went on, at this, and Im too glad you dont disappoint me.
I tried to recall exactly what Mrs. Mulville had told me. He didnt leave herno. Its she who has left him.
Left him to us? Gravener asked. The monstermany thanks! I decline to take him.
Youll hear more about him in spite of yourself. I cant, no, I really cant resist the impression that hes a big man. I was already masteringto my shame perhaps be it saidjust the tone my old friend least liked.
Its doubtless only a trifle, he returned, but you havent happened to mention what his reputations to rest on.
Why on what I began by boring you withhis extraordinary mind.
As exhibited in his writings?
Possibly in his writings, but certainly in his talk, which is far and away the richest I ever listened to.
And whats it all about?
My dear fellow, dont ask me! About everything! I pursued, reminding myself of poor Adelaide. About his ideas of things, I then more charitably added. You must have heard him to know what I meanits unlike anything that ever was heard. I coloured, I admit, I overcharged a little, for such a picture was an anticipation of Saltrams later development and still more of my fuller acquaintance with him. However, I really expressed, a little lyrically perhaps, my actual imagination of him when I proceeded to declare that, in a cloud of tradition, of legend, he might very well go down to posterity as the greatest of all great talkers. Before we parted George Gravener had wondered why such a row should be made about a chatterbox the more and why he should be pampered and pensioned. The greater the wind-bag the greater the calamity. Out of proportion to everything else on earth had come to be this wagging of the tongue. We were drenched with talkour wretched age was dying of it. I differed from him here sincerely, only going so far as to concede, and gladly, that we were drenched with sound. It was not however the mere speakers who were killing usit was the mere stammerers. Fine talk was as rare as it was refreshingthe gift of the gods themselves, the one starry spangle on the ragged cloak of humanity. How many men were there who rose to this privilege, of how many masters of conversation could he boast the acquaintance? Dying of talk?why we were dying of the lack of it! Bad writing wasnt talk, as many people seemed to think, and even good wasnt always to be compared to it. From the best talk indeed the best writing had something to learn. I fancifully added that we too should peradventure be gilded by the legend, should be pointed at for having listened, for having actually heard. Gravener, who had glanced at his watch and discovered it was midnight, found to all this a retort beautifully characteristic of him.
Theres one little fact to be borne in mind in the presence equally of the best talk and of the worst. He looked, in saying this, as if he meant great things, and I was sure he could only mean once more that neither of them mattered if a man wasnt a real gentleman. Perhaps it was what he did mean; he deprived me however of the exultation of being right by putting the truth in a slightly different way. The only thing that really counts for ones estimate of a person is his conduct. He had his watch still in his palm, and I reproached him with unfair play in having ascertained beforehand that it was now the hour at which I always gave in. My pleasantry so far failed to mollify him that he promptly added that to the rule he had just enunciated there was absolutely no exception.
None whatever?
None whatever.
Trust me then to try to be good at any price! I laughed as I went with him to the door. I declare I will be, if I have to be horrible!
III
If that first night was one of the liveliest, or at any rate was the freshest, of my exaltations, there was another, four years later, that was one of my great discomposures. Repetition, I well knew by this time, was the secret of Saltrams power to alienate, and of course one would never have seen him at his finest if one hadnt seen him in his remorses. They set in mainly at this season and were magnificent, elemental, orchestral. I was quite aware that one of these atmospheric disturbances was now due; but none the less, in our arduous attempt to set him on his feet as a lecturer, it was impossible not to feel that two failures were a large order, as we said, for a short course of five. This was the second time, and it was past nine oclock; the audience, a muster unprecedented and really encouraging, had fortunately the attitude of blandness that might have been looked for in persons whom the promise of (if Im not mistaken) An Analysis of Primary Ideas had drawn to the neighbourhood of Upper Baker Street. There was in those days in that region a petty lecture-hall to be secured on terms as moderate as the funds left at our disposal by the irrepressible question of the maintenance of five small SaltramsI include the motherand one large one. By the time the Saltrams, of different sizes, were all maintained we had pretty well poured out the oil that might have lubricated the machinery for enabling the most original of men to appear to maintain them.