What kind of asshole invented that name? That's stupid. That name could only occur to a common newscaster. Surely some presenter from the FOXX network invented that name. But it is already known that not everyone can belong to the intellectual elite, as only a select group of people can do it. Its only correct name is Ophiocordyceps unilateralis.
Of course, professor, could you give us your opinion on the toxin Ophio or how the hell is called that?
Make no mistake young man, it is not a toxin. It's a parasite.
Thank you for correcting me. Regarding the parasite, could you tell us briefly what it is?
The brief explanation lasted only three and a half hours. A really small time if we compare it with the usual talks and symposiums of these academics that could last weeks or even months. Corinne had to change the camera batteries twice. Between changing and changing the battery, the professor would lower his hand to the crotch and dedicate an affectionate virile male gesture to that beautiful female who resisted him so much.
The Professor's mobile began to vibrate and he picked up the phone. Peter took advantage of that moment of distraction, grabbed Corinne by the arm and fled like Marlboroach's soul from the headquarters of the World Federation Plagues.
"Why after the great plague did all the names start with World Federation? Many publicists survived after the great plague and yet the world remained devoid of ideas. Where did invention and imagination go? On these occasions I dream that it would have been better to have been annihilated by the great plague of smokers.
The old van, a radiant white with the logo of the PPC was waiting for them outside.
"Old hysterical cockatoo. Three and a half hours of my life lost. It has been worse than the broadcast of a political debate.
Although Corinne was a freak and a somewhat special woman, deep down Peter knew badly that she would have put up with that old mummy. Since they had only recently been working together, Peter decided to take a small step forward in professional relationships.
Corinne, I'm sorry for what you've had to endure.
What do you say?
I'm talking about that obsessed old man.
I don't understand.
Woman. The lascivious gestures, the macho comments...
But I liked him. I was just pretending to be interesting. I didn't want him to think I was a chippy woman.
A drop of sweat rushed down Peter's left temple.
"This buddy is silly. Whoever understands her buys her. Where do they get the camera operators?".
Peter drove the van back to the hotel. Corinne was still painting his nails on the co-driver's seat, this time in a strange violet shade.
You have to drink a lot to become an Oxford-Cambridge University professor.
According to Peter, until now the report had two good things and one bad. The two good things were always hanging on Corinne's front. The bad thing was the exhaustion of travelling to such scattered and disparate locations all over the world. At times like this he remembered his boss very much, while Mr. Belvedere enjoyed all the pleasures of the comfortable office, they moved more than a mint candy in a child's mouth.
Mr. Belvedere had come up with the brilliant idea of giving them a little trip around the world, that way they could collect the different opinions, comments and various bullshit from the different smoking specialists.
"As good as it is at home.
Before entering Ex Oxford-Cambridge University, careless Peter was struck with a small black post that was at the perfect crotch height of an average adult.
Fuck Marlboroach and all his children.
Don't swear, Peter. They are forbidden by Clown President.
Do you know where you and Clown President can go? What a pain!
Limping and still with a great annoyance in their noble parts, Peter and Corinne entered the Department of History of the 20
th
th
Are the two boys from the TV crew? Excuse me, but I can't see very well, I'm half blind. Would you like a whiskey?
Corinne and Peter shook their heads.
Its a pity, boys. Whiskey opens the doors of the mind, it's scientifically proven Having said that, the old professor poured himself a fairly loaded, ice-free glass of Jackie Danyels. Then he lowered it in one drink.
Then, you're interested in 20
th
"YOUNG BUDDIES? Yes, Corinne's tits can be seen from France. Poor Professor, so much studying with Jackie Danyels is leaving him more than blind.
The old professor began to speak.
The end of the 20
th
A new sip to the glass with Jackie Danyels made the professor smile.
And now there's hardly any material left from that time, fifty years ago. All the papers were smoked: academic books, novels, even the toilet paper. Everything burned between his fingers. He was consumed by the Great Horde of Smokers. The Great Clown delivers us from them.
Excuse me, professor, how do you think it all started? Peter asked.
At the end of the 20
th
PoliticiansPeter was really excited.
Quite an academic and intellectual. You can see that for many years he has been instructing himself in the noble art of enduring alcohol. The kind of man I'd like to be when I grow up.
Then something happened, the professor continued: The fungus transmitted its properties to the tobacco plant. Some of those tobacco crops from ancient Thailand were exported to China, and these corrupt shoots ended up in almost all tobacco plantations.
A new pause interrupted that condensed history class. The old professor was delighted with Jackie's cup in his hand.
The physical change was barely imperceptible. Glazed eyes. Weak pulse. Skin in a state of putrefaction. In short, the normal physical state of a smoker. No one could tell the change. But some people did start to notice something. The great medical professionals intervened. They held many conferences, great symposia, and after all these talks throughout the world, after living at everyone's expense, they agreed on one opinion: it was a serious worldwide case of conjunctivitis. Hips!
The teacher's free hand came between the cup and his mouth. The hiccups had hit him hard.
But the truth was much more terrifying. Hips! Smokers began to be dominated by the fungus-zombie-tabaco.
Excuse me Professor, said Peter, do you mean to tell me that no medical professional at that time detected the real root of the problem?
Well, at that time it was very difficult to find honest doctors. I told you those were bad times. They were either dishonest or stupid. The most common phrase in the medical profession at the time, That's just a virus. You'll be cured, has gone down in history. Hips! On the other hand, there was the maladjusted social class of the Politicians, who received succulent sums for doing nothing. Well, if they were good for anything, for talking.
Unbelievable. How bad the world was!
After all, continued the old professor with a crisp blur between small, uncontrolled burps and various hiccups, that disease only attacked the outcasts of society. Hips! Smokers. People who were sick and without resources. All their money was spent on the illegal substance. It was then that the great demographic debacle happened, and at the beginning of the 21
st
What is a cemetery? Corinne asked innocently.
She will not like the answer.
A place where the dead were buried, guy, replied the professor calmly, who still did not recognize a woman in the figure of Corinne.
Bury? replied Corinne visibly upset. Like plants? Didn't they burn them like now?
No, they didn't burn them.
How disgusting! But where did they bury them?
In the earth or in small vaults, something like small houses.