Don't go on, don't go on, professor. I feel like vomiting.
What delicate boys there are these days. Well, as I was saying, Hips! a few years went by like that. Smokers died and were buried; they died and were buried and so on...
Corinne put on stone-faced expression before all that talk, the last words of the old professor were impressing her very much.
Luckily, in historical journalism class they already explained to us beforehand the old legends of the burial rite. How barbaric.
Well, as I was saying, the old professor continued animatedly, moving his eyes in a nystagmic way, inside the lifeless bodies, the Zombie Fungus continued to generate new spores. These were transmitted at an alarmingly fast rate between the buried bodies of the cemeteries. Above all, in those lifeless bodies full of tobacco, which favored the growth of the fungus, since the combination of nicotine and strontium boosted the fusion. The prevailing humidity underground favored the effect called Buried Steam Pot, with which the disaster was, Hips! served at the table.
And then, one day, the worst happened... he made a theatrical stop. The smokers came back to life. And an immense horde, led by Patrick Swuaize, Nat King Cole and Errol Flyn, among many others, came back to life wanting to smoke everything and everyone.
Horrible, Patrick Swuaize!
Unfortunately, that wonderful history talk ended after Jackie Danyels' sixth cup. The old professor collapsed irreparably on his table, from the corner of his lips began to regurgitate small slimy slime, and his body, almost at the edge of the ethyl coma, also began to emit small noises similar to snoring.
These academic types bore me to death, they think only of drinking and studying.
But what do you say, Corinne, a man of great wisdom and knowledge like the professor? Six glasses of whiskey. He must be very wise to put up with so much. Do you know that in order to be accepted into the former Oxford-Cambridge University, applicants must undergo severe drunkenness tests?
Huh! What was the point of burying people? What nausea has come over me. Cmon Peter. Mortally boring I am. Besides, he hasn't looked at my tits once. What a nerve.
Interview with Clown President of the Top Section
Thank you so much for having us, Great Clown.
The Great Clown from Above had a huge smile. He wore a huge white, bulging pair of trousers that came big to him. To prevent him from dropping it, he had it securely fastened with red elastic straps, although to the misfortune of Peter and Corinne, the Great Clown was not wearing his usual red nose on that occasion, which he only wore in public.
Oh, oh, oh, boy, stop treating me with so much respect. I'm just a clown.
Corinne couldn't focus the lens well; she was very nervous. Her friends would die of envy when they knew she had met the Great Clown from Above.
Of course, sir, Peter apologized.
Just call me, Clown Smith. We reserved the word sir for the elderly.
Of course, Clown Smith.
Awesome. You want a lollipop?
Corinne accepted the great multicolored lollipop.
I remember the history classes where they put us in exciting documentaries. After the end of the great plague of smokers, the world got deserted. Only 25% of the population survived. The sectors with the most smokers were swept from the planet: lawyers, politicians, computer scientists, construction workers, taxi drivers and the unemployed. Curiously, within the circus sector, very healthy people, the clowns survived. They represented the lowest rate of smokers. After the great crisis, the clowns of the world joined forces and thanks to them we are still here.
How would you define the replacement of the Clowns to the old rulers?
Sitting behind his table, a big smile was drawn on the face of the Great Clown from Above.
Oh, boy. Very simple, very simple, very simple. Look at that simple explanation, because clowns never say the ugly thing.
And that's Clown Smith? Peter knew the answer. Everyone knew it. They taught it in schools from an early age. It was repeated by all the clowns at their rallies. The clown-like mantra for excellence. Even so, being able to ask a great clown leader that question filled him with pride.
Very simple, boy. We never say what is not true.
How could they get organized so quickly after the end of the great plague?
Oh! Boy the great clown leader's smile was out of control. He threw three white balls into the air, and as he juggled them, he continued to speak. Humanity was in crisis. For years, the old ruling caste, the Politicians had led the world to its own destruction. Always spitting out what is not true, and filling their pockets with other people's money. Fortunately, the great plague wiped them out. Then the clowns gathered. Accustomed to travelling from one continent to another, we held a great clown conference. They were hard moments that had to be overcome with a big smile. With the Politicians extinct, only we, the clowns, were left, the logical evolution to our previous leaders. And clowns do know how to make people laugh. And bring people together, a big smile was drawn on the mouth of the Great Clown. Oh yes, boy! Sooooo much simple. In a decade we do more work for humanity than all Politicians in a hundred years. We built schools, hospitals, we end wars, we end hatreds. We healed this world which seemed to be turning into a great cosmic dump. And we, the clowns, liked that very much. Do you know how we did it, boy, do you know that?
Yes, Clown Smith. Never saying what's not true.
Veeeeery simple. Very good boy. You've earned this lollipop.
The Great Clown from Above was euphoric.
Do you know what divided people, boy? The borders. They were nervous about them. They created disputes, fears, wars, stupid confrontations. And on top of that, for defending them, they forced people to say what is not true. Oooooh! What a scare. Oooooh! What a fear. Don't cross the imaginary line if dont want to be hurt. That's why the great founding Clowns eliminated the old countries of the world and their borders. They created four large areas of a purely administrative nature. The Top Zone, the Bottom Zone, the Left Zone and the Right Zone. So, everything was much simpler and people could breathe easy.
Fantastic Clown Smith, but how did you get so much in so little time?
Oh, oh boy. Success only comes after a great effort. My grandfather, one of the great founding Clowns, helped create the Official Clown Circus. The only global entity that doesn't start with WF. You know, World Federation Plagues and other organizations with names in English, the old dead language. At the Official Clown Circus, ten long years of studies in Applied Clownology await all aspiring clown candidates. Within it we must study great disciplines: Ethics, Acrobatics, Smiles, Honesty, Courage, Moral... While we study all these hard subjects, we must travel halfway around the world doing practices. Making people laugh in more than five different languages is a complicated task. In addition, we must always be attentive to Never say that which is not true. And finally, after those ten years, if our teachers think we are worthy, a highly qualified committee, composed of more than one hundred children from all over the world, chooses the leading clowns. Everyone knows the motto: Only someone as innocent as a child can wisely choose your leader.
The Great Clown from Above stopped the juggling of red balls in his tracks.
Oh, oh, oh, Im sorry boy, I must appear on stage. I have a matter to discuss with some clown representatives. Please stay in the front row. Both of you are invited.