Shut the fountain of your sermon, Padre.
Well, in short, theres a friendly offer to you, V. Some real something. Nobody would ditch the suggested deal even convulsing in St. Vitus dance, V. Its a bonanza, some fucking oil fields. BP and Shell would tear hair from each other scrambling for the exclusive right to hummer lullabies on you 8 nights a week. Improvising jazz, follow me?
What?! Drilling their wells in my private parts? Screw you, oilman!
Come on, man. I was purely metaphorical What matters is that such a chance turns up once in a life-span.
A-ha! I dig it now. Youve sampled a shot of metaphorical shit from that bonanza and completely forgotten that Im straight.
Since when?
I see. The stuffs been way too strong for you. Call me tomorrow after youre back from the strawberry fields.
Wait-wait-wait! I mean business!
Then talk business instead of balling it up with goofy drivel of an upstart pimp.
Well, look Theres some stuff thatll make you famous, V. Wanna be a celebrity like Joyce or Pynchon, or Hemingway?.
The third guy from youve just mentioned. Who? Again?
Hemingway? I be damned if I know. My ex-girlfriend was once a month drenching his paperback with an outpour of tears.
Girls and books? Things incompatible. Youre still not quite steady on your pins. Moreover, the mankind en masse have given books up So you felt jealous and memorized the guys name?
A girl from the hinterland might very well keep an extra Ace or two up her sleeve, believe me, buddy. Anyway Ive got a big file whose content will shatter the world in three days at most. The hot thing is only waiting for a lover boy to edit, sign it with his name, and become famous overnight. Hows the perspective, huh?
OK, Im in. Just for the sake of saving old man Lex from OD. Drop the file to my email box.
Nah, handsome. Forget it, I dont have anything to do with emails.
Which is absolutely true. For some time already Lex has grown too concerned about his personal data privacy and stuff, you know. His case acquires symptoms of an unhealthy aggravation, more and more so. The guy got hopelessly stranded, nautically speaking. You might one whole week wheedle of him something as innocent as, Hi. Catch the link: http://sweet-granny/bedtime-tales-for-grand-kids/introduction.html,' before he freak-and-feints out at the last moment. Maybe, because of his employment at some hazy firm working for the government.
A row of squat buildings behind the steely mesh of high fencing, the guarded iron gate, thick growth of surveillance cams, grim Rottweilers walking their trainers three times a day about the outside parking lot.
The best way to make Lex shut his non-stop jingling yack is to ask how was his work today andabruptlyyoure blessed with a ten-minute break, as a minimum. Not a peep. Lex all in thoughts. Full of gloom, shut up, introvert.
Seems, like the fate of that Jewish couple impressed him deeply, nice people also worked for the government before were roasted in the chair for leaking the know-how and formulas of A-bomb to the Soviets.
Take it easy, I was kidding. Dont wet your bed tonight. There-there, kid. Say, what is your want?
How about 6 pm at Uncle Toms Cabin? Suits you?.
A guy needs a heart of stone to say nah!to their old-time buddy. Except, maybe, for that nymphomaniacal slut on the throne of the Russian Empire. In her estimation it were your enemies and not friends to be hold close to your bosom which attitude let you feel the slightest movement of their souls and thought and whatever else would spring up.
Though cunning, foolish was the bitch. Its your friends who you should keep your eye on, 24/7. Its they who know your weak spots better than even you yourself. They will not miss, their stab would be smack into, precise and to the hilt.
O! Brutus! And you too
Some goofy gander, aint it? Your friends are the best at croaking you. Rest in peace, stupid asshole.
By me, its okay,' said V.
* * *
2
(Notwithstanding the establishments name, stay assured that no one has ever spotted any Uncle Tom about. None of the trust-worthy old-timer patrons would recollect him if you ask. Still and yet, hardly any one was made nervous or otherwise uncomfortable by the fact because his nephews visited the place not frequenter or else incognito. You never can tell.
Ma'am Harriet runs the establishment, an oldie but bitchy shrew with the response-time reflexes of a rattle snake that won her a profound veneration in the neighborhood. No gunslinger from the Most Wild West will hold a candle to her briskness. Although instead of a weighty Colt the old lady keeps in the holster of lace-trimmed patch pocket in her apron a tube of lacrimator spray. That her preference demoted a baseball bat to the rank of a ludicrous old-fashioned exhibit. (The survey undertaken lately by Forbez Monthly claims that barmen in the Middle-Wild West connected in some or other way to the Russian Mafia prefer a gorodki stick for the purpose.)
Additionally, her knack canceled expenses for a bouncer on the premiseswith consoling laments, this black mamba would lead the tamed hooligan (his ear pinched with her thumb and index finger) to the exit and show him the nearest fire hydrant, in a God-sent Samaritan grandmas manner as if he could see a goddamn thing thru the tears and mucus slopped all over his mug.
And then shed creep to the kitchen, that cape cobra, like, to wash up her hands for hygienic considerations, yet actually to collect the usual share of sycophantic compliments from her subordinate employees
In the daytime Uncle Toms Cabin turns a cozy family diner to keep up with that kinsfolklike varnish in its name and at night hours it is a restaurant of a fully deserved repute because of the excellent food by Maam Harriets kitchen (eluding the slippery ground of any racist shadewe are over and above propagating the slightest extremesit should be mentioned that, yes, the chefs skin color conformed to the environs because it was Uncle Toms Cabin, after all).
Thus, the superb grub multiplied by that pleasantly mellow atmosphere in the style of an old-time estate in one of the Confederation States, say, Virginia, Alabama or, maybe, Georgia which is on my mind though not in that enraged roar by Charles Ray but in the classical form of this number composed back in 1930 (which in about twenty+ years became the Song of the Year), the way it was sung in 50s by the vocalist at the band of the Gypsy virtuoso guitarist Django, nicknamed Sultan, well, you know what Im about, so dont miss visiting the eatery even though the old hag with her assault spray tube pays me not one red cent for the advertising. No, Sir, nothing exept a cup of tea once in a blue moon, just tea without pastry, that old stingy bellicose biped reptile.)
V sat down in the rearmost stall and leaned onto the padded back of the double seat in the attitude of serene repose. His right arm stretched out over the slightly convex protrusion run along the seats backtop buffed in the gleaming skin the color of well, the skin color also suited the rooms decor and feel.
Fortunately for those who too soon get weary with the easy flow of relaxed descriptions like the introductory paragraphs in the current chapter, Lex plump frame showed up thru the entrance door. Good timing
His ample jowl spread widely out the club corners of his shirt. The spruce dinner jacket taken off and spread over or rather hung onto his left shoulder draped the left half of Lex torso. Yes, hanging it was and with certain a dare-devilish cheek to it toono safety rigging at all while the well-rounded shoulder had no hooks to clutch at. It takes a desperado jacket to choose such a brash yet risky position.