Chapter VI
During the next four months I did not enter Mrs. Graham's house; but still the ladies continued to talk about her. And still our acquaintance continued, though slowly, to advance. Sometimes I saw her myself, not only when she came to church, but when she was out on the hills with her son. I liked to see Mrs. Graham, and to talk to her. I decidedly liked to talk to her little companion, who was a very amiable and intelligent little fellow. We soon became excellent friends. What pleased her best of all was to see him with Sancho, while I walked by her side not for love of my company (though I sometimes deluded myself with that idea). Those active sports were invigorating to her son, that's all.
One bright February morning, during twenty minutes' stroll along the moor, she was discoursing with so much eloquence and depth of thought, that I went home enchanted. And I thought it was, perhaps, better to spend one's days with such a woman than with Eliza Millward. Then I (figuratively) blushed for my inconstancy.
However, thought I, I cannot marry Eliza, since my mother so strongly objects to it. So I must not delude the girl with the idea that I intended to do so. Mrs. Graham can be equally objectionable. But I shall not fall seriously in love with the young widow, I think, nor she with me that's certain.
One calm, clear afternoon, in March, I saw Mrs. Graham down by the brook, with a sketch-book in her hand. She was absorbed in her favourite art, while Arthur was constructing dams and breakwaters in the shallow, stony stream.
Do you not find it a desolate place to live in? said I, after a moment of silent contemplation.
I do, sometimes, replied she. On winter evenings, when Arthur is in bed, and I am sitting there alone. But it is folly to give way to such weakness, I know. Rachel is satisfied with such a life. Indeed, I must be thankful for such an asylum.
Then bid me good-evening and withdrew.
Soon perceived Mr. Lawrence, on his pretty grey pony. I went a little out of my way to speak to him.
Was that Mrs. Graham you were speaking to just now? said he.
Yes.
Humph! I thought so.
Well! What then?
Oh, nothing! replied he. Only I thought you disliked her.
Suppose I did. Can't a man change his mind?
Yes, of course, returned he. Then you have changed your mind?
I can't say that I have exactly. No; I think I hold the same opinion but slightly ameliorated.
Oh! He glanced up at the moon.
Lawrence, said I calmly, are you in love with Mrs. Graham?
He laughed.
I am in love with her! repeated he. Why do you think so?
From the interest you take in the progress of my acquaintance with the lady, and the changes of my opinion concerning her, I thought you were jealous.
He laughed again.
Jealous! no. But I thought you were going to marry Eliza Millward.
You thought wrong, then; I am not going to marry either one or the other.
Chapter VII
Not many days after this, on a mild sunny morning, I was out on the hill-side. I beheld three persons below. They were Eliza Millward, Fergus, and Rose; so I crossed the field to meet them. They told me that they were going to Wildfell Hall. I joined them, and offered my arm to Eliza, who readily accepted it.
So we went all. The meagre old maid-servant, that opened the door, ushered us into a tolerably spacious and lofty room.
The lady was seated in a stiff, high-backed arm-chair, with a small round table, containing a desk and a work-basket on one side of her, and her little boy on the other. The boy was leaning his elbow on her knee, and reading to her, with wonderful fluency, from a small volume that lay in her lap.
I do not think Mrs. Graham was particularly delighted to see us. There was something indescribably chilly in her quiet, calm civility; but I did not talk much to her. I called Arthur to me, and he and I and Sancho amused ourselves very pleasantly together. Fergus was interrupting the conversation, or filling up a pause with some impertinent question or remark. At one time it was,
It, amazes me, Mrs. Graham, how you can choose such a dilapidated, rickety old place as this to live in. If you can't afford to occupy the whole house, why can't you take a neat little cottage?
Perhaps this romantic, old-fashioned place, Mr. Fergus, replied she, has many advantages over a cottage. You see, the rooms are larger and more airy. The unoccupied apartments, which I don't pay for, may serve as lumber-rooms. They are very useful for my little boy to run about in on rainy days when he can't go out. Then there is the garden for him to play in, and for me to work in.
But then how can you bear such a situation your nearest neighbours two miles distant, and nobody passes by? Rose will go mad in such a place.
The loneliness of the place was one of its chief recommendations. I like to be quiet.
Oh! Do you want to tell us to leave you alone?
No, I dislike an extensive acquaintance; but if I have a few friends, of course I am glad to see them occasionally. No one can be happy in eternal solitude. Therefore, Mr. Fergus, if you choose to enter my house as a friend, I will make you welcome. If not, I will keep you away.
And, Mrs. Graham, said he again, five minutes after, we were disputing something. Well, the question, or questions for you to answer
Hold your tongue, Fergus! cried Rose.
I won't! The questions are these: first, concerning your birth, extraction, and previous residence. Some people say that you are a foreigner, and some an Englishwoman; some a native of the north country, and some of the south; some say
Well, Mr. Fergus, I'll tell you. I'm an Englishwoman. I was born in the country, neither in the extreme north nor south of our happy isle. In the country I have passed my life, and now I hope you are satisfied.
Except this
No, not one more! laughed she, and, to escape my brother's persecutions, drew me into conversation.
Mr. Markham, said she, have you forgotten the fine sea-view we were speaking of some time ago? I think I must trouble you, now, to tell me the nearest way to it. I shall, perhaps, be able to walk there, and take my sketch. I want to see it.
Oh, don't tell her, Gilbert! cried Rose; she will go with us. I suppose, Mrs. Graham, it is a very long walk, too far for you. But we were thinking about a picnic there. I'm sure we shall all be delighted to have you amongst us.
Poor Mrs. Graham looked dismayed, and attempted to make excuses.
Just a nice walk for the gentlemen, continued Rose; but the ladies will have their pony-carriage, which will be large enough to contain little Arthur and three ladies, together with your sketching apparatus, and our provisions.
We rose, and took our leave.
But this was only March: a cold, wet April, and two weeks of May passed over before we ventured forth on our expedition. The company consisted of Mrs. and Master Graham, Mary and Eliza Millward, Jane and Richard Wilson, and Rose, Fergus, and Gilbert Markham.
Mr. Lawrence was invited to join us, but, for some reason he refused to give us his company.. The decision was not displeasing to me.
It was about midday when we reached the place of our destination. Mrs. Graham walked all the way to the cliffs. I have a very pleasant recollection of that walk, along the hard, white, sunny road. Eliza was not beside me; but she was with her friends in the pony-carriage. I was too happy in the company of Mrs. Graham to regret the absence of Eliza Millward.
At length our walk was ended. I looked at my companion to see what she thought of the glorious scene. She said nothing: but she stood still. She had very fine eyes not brown, but very dark grey. A cool breeze blew from the sea soft, pure, salubrious. She looked very lovely; my heart warmly cleaved to her.
Mrs. Graham seated herself at a distance from me. Eliza was my nearest neighbour. Soon my heart began to warm towards her once again; and we were all very merry and happy together.