Well, he said defensively. If youd had more of a life outside of Edward Cullen, it might not have been like that.
It would have been exactly like that, I muttered.
Maybe, maybe not.
The point? I reminded him.
Use your new freedom to see your other friends, too. Keep it balanced.
I nodded slowly. Balance is good. Do I have specific time quotas to fill, though?
He made a face, but shook his head. I dont want to make this complicated. Just dont forget your friends . . .
It was a dilemma I was already struggling with. My friends. People who, for their own safety, I would never be able to see again after graduation.
So what was the better course of action? Spend time with them while I could? Or start the separation now to make it more gradual? I quailed at the idea of the second option.
. . . particularly Jacob, Charlie added before I could think things through more than that.
A greater dilemma than the first. It took me a moment to find the right words. Jacob might be . . . difficult.
The Blacks are practically family, Bella, he said, stern and fatherly again. And Jacob has been a very, very good friend to you.
I know that.
Dont you miss him at all? Charlie asked, frustrated.
My throat suddenly felt swollen; I had to clear it twice before I answered. Yes, I do miss him, I admitted, still looking down. I miss him a lot.
Then why is it difficult?
It wasnt something I was at liberty to explain. It was against the rules for normal peoplehuman people like me and Charlieto know about the clandestine world full of myths and monsters that existed secretly around us. I knew all about that worldand I was in no small amount of trouble as a result. I wasnt about to get Charlie in the same trouble.
With Jacob there is a . . . conflict, I said slowly. A conflict about the friendship thing, I mean. Friendship doesnt always seem to be enough for Jake. I wound my excuse out of details that were true but insignificant, hardly crucial compared to the fact that Jacobs werewolf pack bitterly hated Edwards vampire familyand therefore me, too, as I fully intended to join that family. It just wasnt something I could work out with him in a note, and he wouldnt answer my calls. But my plan to deal with the werewolf in person had definitely not gone over well with the vampires.
Isnt Edward up for a little healthy competition? Charlies voice was sarcastic now.
I leveled a dark look at him. Theres no competition.
Youre hurting Jakes feelings, avoiding him like this. Hed rather be just friends than nothing.
Oh, now I was avoiding him?
Im pretty sure Jake doesnt want to be friends at all. The words burned in my mouth. Whered you get that idea, anyway?
Charlie looked embarrassed now. The subject might have come up today with Billy. . . .
You and Billy gossip like old women, I complained, stabbing my fork viciously into the congealed spaghetti on my plate.
Billys worried about Jacob, Charlie said. Jakes having a hard time right now. . . . Hes depressed.
I winced, but kept my eyes on the blob.
And then you were always so happy after spending the day with Jake. Charlie sighed.
Im happy now, I growled fiercely through my teeth.
The contrast between my words and tone broke through the tension. Charlie burst into laughter, and I had to join in.
Okay, okay, I agreed. Balance.
And Jacob, he insisted.
Ill try.
Good. Find that balance, Bella. And, oh, yeah, youve got some mail, Charlie said, closing the subject with no attempt at subtlety. Its by the stove.
I didnt move, my thoughts twisting into snarls around Jacobs name. It was most likely junk mail; Id just gotten a package from my mom yesterday and I wasnt expecting anything else.
Charlie shoved his chair away from the table and stretched as he got to his feet. He took his plate to the sink, but before he turned the water on to rinse it, he paused to toss a thick envelope at me. The letter skidded across the table and thunked into my elbow.
Er, thanks, I muttered, puzzled by his pushiness. Then I saw the return addressthe letter was from the University of Alaska Southeast. That was quick. I guess I missed the deadline on that one, too.
Charlie chuckled.
I flipped the envelope over and then glared up at him. Its open.
I was curious.
Im shocked, Sheriff. Thats a federal crime.
Oh, just read it.
I pulled out the letter, and a folded schedule of courses.
Congratulations, he said before I could read anything. Your first acceptance.
Thanks, Dad.
We should talk about tuition. Ive got some money saved up
Hey, hey, none of that. Im not touching your retirement, Dad. Ive got my college fund. What was left of itand there hadnt been much to begin with.
Charlie frowned. Some of these places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You dont have to go to all the way to Alaska just because its cheaper.
It wasnt cheaper, not at all. But it was far away, and Juneau had an average of three hundred twenty-one overcast days per year. The first was my prerequisite, the second was Edwards.
Ive got it covered. Besides, theres lots of financial aid out there. Its easy to get loans. I hoped my bluff wasnt too obvious. I hadnt actually done a lot of research on the subject.
So . . . , Charlie began, and then he pursed his lips and looked away.
So what?
Nothing. I was just . . . He frowned. Just wondering what . . . Edwards plans are for next year?
Oh.
Well?
Three quick raps on the door saved me. Charlie rolled his eyes and I jumped up.
Coming! I called while Charlie mumbled something that sounded like, Go away. I ignored him and went to let Edward in.
I wrenched the door out of my wayridiculously eagerand there he was, my personal miracle.
Time had not made me immune to the perfection of his face, and I was sure that I would never take any aspect of him for granted. My eyes traced over his pale white features: the hard square of his jaw, the softer curve of his full lipstwisted up into a smile now, the straight line of his nose, the sharp angle of his cheekbones, the smooth marble span of his foreheadpartially obscured by a tangle of rain-darkened bronze hair. . . .
I saved his eyes for last, knowing that when I looked into them I was likely to lose my train of thought. They were wide, warm with liquid gold, and framed by a thick fringe of black lashes. Staring into his eyes always made me feel extraordinarysort of like my bones were turning spongy. I was also a little lightheaded, but that could have been because Id forgotten to keep breathing. Again.
It was a face any male model in the world would trade his soul for. Of course, that might be exactly the asking price: one soul.
No. I didnt believe that. I felt guilty for even thinking it, and was gladas I was often gladthat I was the one person whose thoughts were a mystery to Edward.
I reached for his hand, and sighed when his cold fingers found mine. His touch brought with it the strangest sense of reliefas if Id been in pain and that pain had suddenly ceased.
Hey. I smiled a little at my anticlimactic greeting.
He raised our interlaced fingers to brush my cheek with the back of his hand. How was your afternoon?
Slow.
For me, as well.
He pulled my wrist up to his face, our hands still twisted together. His eyes closed as his nose skimmed along the skin there, and he smiled gently without opening them. Enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine, as hed once put it.
I knew that the scent of my bloodso much sweeter to him than any other persons blood, truly like wine beside water to an alcoholiccaused him actual pain from the burning thirst it engendered. But he didnt seem to shy away from it as much as he once had. I could only dimly imagine the Herculean effort behind this simple gesture.
It made me sad that he had to try so hard. I comforted myself with the knowledge that I wouldnt be causing him pain much longer.
I heard Charlie approaching then, stamping his feet on the way to express his customary displeasure with our guest. Edwards eyes snapped open and he let our hands fall, keeping them twined.
Good evening, Charlie. Edward was always flawlessly polite, though Charlie didnt deserve it.
Charlie grunted at him, and then stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. He was taking the idea of parental supervision to extremes lately.
I brought another set of applications, Edward told me then, holding up a stuffed manila envelope. He was wearing a roll of stamps like a ring around his littlest finger.
I groaned. How were there any colleges left that he hadnt forced me to apply to already? And how did he keep finding these loophole openings? It was so late in the year.
He smiled as if he could read my thoughts; they must have been very obvious on my face. There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions.
I could just imagine the motivations behind such exceptions. And the dollar amounts involved.
Edward laughed at my expression.
Shall we? he asked, towing me toward the kitchen table.
Charlie huffed and followed behind, though he could hardly complain about the activity on tonights agenda. Hed been pestering me to make a decision about college on a daily basis.
I cleared the table quickly while Edward organized an intimidating stack of forms. When I moved Wuthering Heights to the counter, Edward raised one eyebrow. I knew what he was thinking, but Charlie interrupted before Edward could comment.
Speaking of college applications, Edward, Charlie said, his tone even more sullenhe tried to avoid addressing Edward directly, and when he had to, it exacerbated his bad mood. Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where youre going to school?
Edward smiled up at Charlie and his voice was friendly. Not yet. Ive received a few acceptance letters, but Im still weighing my options.
Where have you been accepted? Charlie pressed.
Syracuse . . . Harvard . . . Dartmouth . . . and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today. Edward turned his face slightly to the side so that he could wink at me. I stifled a giggle.
Harvard? Dartmouth? Charlie mumbled, unable to conceal his awe. Well thats pretty . . . thats something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska . . . you wouldnt really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to . . .
Carlisles always fine with whatever I choose to do, Edward told him serenely.
Hmph.
Guess what, Edward? I asked in a bright voice, playing along.
What, Bella?
I pointed to the thick envelope on the counter. I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska!
Congratulations! He grinned. What a coincidence.
Charlies eyes narrowed and he glared back and forth between the two of us. Fine, he muttered after a minute. Im going to go watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty.
That was his usual parting command.
Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom . . . ?
He sighed. Right. Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights.
Bellas no longer grounded? Edward asked. Though I knew he wasnt really surprised, I couldnt detect any false note to the sudden excitement in his voice.
Conditionally, Charlie corrected through his teeth. Whats it to you?
I frowned at my dad, but he didnt see.
Its just good to know, Edward said. Alice has been itching for a shopping partner, and Im sure Bella would love to see some city lights. He smiled at me.
But Charlie growled, No! and his face flushed purple.
Dad! Whats the problem?
He made an effort to unclench his teeth. I dont want you going to Seattle right now.
Huh?
I told you about that story in the papertheres some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?
I rolled my eyes. Dad, theres a better chance that Ill get struck by lightning than that the one day Im in Seattle
No, thats fine, Charlie, Edward said, interrupting me. I didnt mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldnt have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not.
I looked at him in disbelief, but he had Charlies newspaper in his hands and he was reading the front page intently.
He must have been trying to appease my father. The idea of being in danger from even the most deadly of humans while I was with Alice or Edward was downright hilarious.
It worked. Charlie stared at Edward for one second more, and then shrugged. Fine. He stalked off toward the living room, in a bit of a hurry nowmaybe he didnt want to miss tip-off.
I waited till the TV was on, so that Charlie wouldnt be able to hear me.
What , I started to ask.
Hold on, Edward said without looking up from the paper. His eyes stayed focused on the page as he pushed the first application toward me across the table. I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions.
Charlie must still be listening. I sighed and started to fill out the repetitive information: name, address, social. . . . After a few minutes I glanced up, but Edward was now staring pensively out the window. As I bent my head back to my work, I noticed for the first time the name of the school.
I snorted and shoved the papers aside.
Bella?
Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?
Edward lifted the discarded application and laid it gently in front of me again. I think youd like New Hampshire, he said. Theres a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife. He pulled out the crooked smile he knew I couldnt resist.
I took a deep breath through my nose.
Ill let you pay me back, if that makes you happy, he promised. If you want, I can charge you interest.
Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?