She might have spared herself the trouble, for even as she sighed and sought, a shadow fell upon her, and looking up she saw Samuel Rock standing before her, hat in hand and smiling his most obsequious smile.
Chapter 2
Samuel Rock Declares Himself
Mr. Samuel Rock was young-looking rather than young in years, of which he might have seen some thirty-five, and, on the whole, not uncomely in appearance. His build was slender for his height, his eyes were blue and somewhat shifty, his features sharp and regular except the chin, which was prominent, massive, and developed almost to deformity. Perhaps it was to hide this blemish that he wore a brown beard, very long, but thin and straggling. His greatest peculiarity, however, was his hands, which were shaped like those of a woman, were long, white notwithstanding their exposure to the weather, and adorned with almond-shaped nails that any lady might have envied. These hands were never still; moreover, there was something furtive and unpleasant about them, capable as they were of the strangest contortions. Mr. Rocks garments suggested a compromise between the dress affected by Dissenters who are pillars of their local chapel and anxious to proclaim the fact, and those worn by the ordinary farmer, consisting as they did of a long-tailed black coat rather the worse for wear, a black felt wide-awake, and a pair of cord breeches and stout riding boots.
How do you do, Miss Haste? said Samuel Rock, in his soft, melodious voice, but not offering to shake hands, perhaps because his fingers were engaged in nervously crushing the crown of his hat.
How do you do? answered Joan, starting violently. How did you - (find me here, she was about to add; then, remembering that such a remark would show a guilty knowledge of being sought after, substituted) get here?
I I walked, Miss Haste, he replied, looking at his legs and blushing, as though there were something improper about the fact; then added, You are quite close to my house, Moor Farm, you know, and I was told that I thought that I should find you here.
I suppose you mean that you asked my aunt, and she sent you after me? said Joan bluntly.
Samuel smiled evasively, but made no other reply to this remark.
Then came a pause, while, with a growing irritation, Joan watched the long white fingers squeezing at the black wide-awake.
You had better put your hat on, or you will catch cold, she suggested, presently.
Thank you, Miss Haste, it is not what I am liable to not but what I take it kindly that you should think of my health; and he carefully replaced the hat upon his head in such a fashion that the long brown hair showed beneath it in a ragged fringe.
Oh, please dont thank me, said Joan rudely, dreading lest her remark should be taken as a sign of encouragement.
Then came another pause, while Samuel searched the heavens with his wandering blue eyes, as though to find inspiration there.
You are very fond of graves, Miss Haste, he said at length.
Yes, Mr. Rock; they are comfortable to sit on and I dont doubt very good beds to sleep in, she added, with a touch of grim humour.
Samuel gave a slight but perceptible shiver. He was a highly strung man, and, his piety notwithstanding, he did not appreciate the allusion. When you wish to make love to a young woman, to say the least of it, it is disagreeable if she begins to talk of that place whither no earthly love can follow.
You shouldnt think of such things at your age you should not indeed, Miss Haste, he replied; there are many things you have got to think of before you think of them.
What things? asked Joan rashly.
Again Samuel blushed.
Well husbands, and cradles and such-like, he answered vaguely.
Thank you, I prefer graves, Joan replied with tartness.
By this time it had dawned upon Samuel that he was getting no forwarder. For a moment he thought of retreat; then the native determination that underlay his soft voice and timid manner came to his aid.
Miss Haste Joan, he said huskily, I want to speak to you.
Joan felt that the hour of trial had come, but still sought a feeble refuge in flippancy.
You have been doing that for the last five minutes, Mr. Rock, she said; and I should like to go home.
No, no, not yet not till you have heard what I have to say. And he made a quick movement as though to cut off her retreat.
Well, be quick then, she answered, in a voice in which vexation and fear struggled for the mastery.
Twice Samuel strove to speak, and twice words failed him, for his agitation was very real. At last they came.
I love you, he said, in an intense whisper. By the God above you, and the dead beneath your feet, I love you, Joan, as you have never been loved before and never will be loved again!
She threw her head back and looked at him, frightened by his passion. The realities of his declaration were worse than she had anticipated. His thin face was fierce with emotion, his sensitive lips quivered, and the long lithe fingers of his right hand played with his beard as though he were plaiting it. Joan grew seriously alarmed: she had never seen Samuel Rock look like this before.
I am sorry, she murmured.
Dont be sorry, he broke in; why should you be sorry? It is a great thing to be loved as I love you, Joan, a thing that does not often come in the way of a woman, as you will find out before you die. Look here: do you suppose that I have not fought against this? Do you suppose that I wanted to fall into the power of a girl without a sixpence, without even an honest name? I tell you, Joan, I have fought against it and I have prayed against it since you were a chit of sixteen. Chance after chance have I let slip through my fingers for your sake. There was Mrs. Morton yonder, a handsome body as a man need wish for a wife, with six thousand pounds invested and house property into the bargain, who as good as told me that she would marry me, and I gave her the go-by for you. There was the ministers widow, a lady born, and a holy woman, who would have had me fast enough, and I gave her the go-by for you. I love you, Joan I tell you that I love you more than land or goods, more than my own soul, more than anything that is. I think of you all day, I dream of you all night. I love you, and I want you, and if I dont get you then I may as well die for all the world is worth to me. And he ceased, trembling with passion.
If Joan had been alarmed before, now she was terrified. The mans earnestness impressed her artistic sense in a certain rude way there was something fine about it but it awoke no answer within her heart. His passion repelled her; she had always disliked him, now she loathed him. Swiftly she reviewed the position in her mind, searching a way of escape. She knew well enough that he had not meant to affront her by his references to her poverty and the stain upon her birth that these truths had broken from him together with that great truth which animated his life; nevertheless, with a womans wit putting the rest aside, it was on these unlucky sayings that she pounced in her emergency.
How, Mr. Rock, she asked, rising and standing before him, how can you ask me to marry you, for I suppose that is what you mean, when you throw my poverty and the rest in my teeth? I think, Mr. Rock, that you would do well to go back to Mrs. Morton, or the ministers widow who was born a lady, and to leave me in peace.
Oh, dont be angry with me, he said, with something like a groan; you know that I did not mean to offend you. Why should I offend you when I love you so, and want to win you? I wish that I had bitten out my tongue before I said that, but it slipped in with the rest. Will you have me, Joan? Look here: you are the first that ever I said a sweet word to, and that ought to go some way with a woman; and I would make you a good husband. There isnt much that you shall want for if you marry me, Joan. If any one had told me when I was a youngster that I should live to go begging and craving after a woman in this fashion, Id have said he lied; but you have put me off, and pushed me aside, and given me the slip, till at length you have worked me up to this, and I cant live without you I cant live without you, thats the truth.