Well, all any of us has got to judge from is appearances, said Diadema, and how you can twist em one way, and us another, stumps me!
Perhaps I see more appearances than you do, retorted her mother-in-law. Some folks mistakes all they see for all there is. I was reading a detective story last week. It seems there was an awful murder in Schenectady, and a mother and her two children was found dead in one bed, with bullet holes in their heads. The husband was away on business, and there wasnt any near neighbors to hear her screech. Well, the detectives come from far and from near, and begun to work up the case. One of em thought t was the husband,though he set such store by his wife he went ravin crazy when he heard she was dead,one of em laid it on the children,though they was both under six years old; and one decided it was suicide,though the woman was a church member and didnt know how to fire a gun off, besides. And then there come along a detective younger and smarter than all the rest, and says he, If all you bats have seen everything you can see, I guess Ill take a look around, says he. Sure enough, there was a rug with Welcome on it layin in front of the washstand, and when he turned it up he found an elegant diamond stud with a mans full name and address on the gold part. He took a train and went right to the mans house. He was so taken by surprise (he hadnt missed the stud, for he had a full set of em) that he owned right up and confessed the murder.
I dont see as thats got anything to do with this case, said Diadema.
Its got this much to do with it, replied old Mrs. Bascom, that perhaps youve looked all round the room and seen everything you had eyes to see, and perhaps Ive had wit enough to turn up the rug in front o the washstand.
Whoever he marries now, Mis Bascomll have to say t was the one she meant, laughed the Widow Buzzell.
I never was caught cheatin yet, and if I live till Saturday I shall be seventy-one years old, said the old lady with some heat. Hand me Jots lead pencil, Diademy, and that old envelope on the winder sill. Ill write the name I think of, and shut it up in the old Bible. My hands so stiff to-day I cant hardly move it, but I guess I can make it plain enough to satisfy you.
Thats fair n square, said Hannah Sophia, and for my pat I hope it aint Eunice, for I like her too well. What theyre goin to live on is more n I can see. Add nothin to nothin n you git nothin,thats arethmetic! He aint hed a cent o ready money sence he failed up four years ago, thout it was that hundred dollars that fell to him from his wifes aunt. Eunicell hev her hands full this winter, I guess, with them three hearty children n him all wheezed up with phthisic from October to April! Whos that coming down Tory Hill? Its Rubes horse n Rubes wagon, but it dont look like Rube.
Yes, its Rube; but hes got a new Panama hat, n he s hed his linen duster washed, said old Mrs. Bascom. Now, do you mean to tell me that that woman with a stuck-up hat on is Eunice Emery? It aint, n that green parasol dont belong to this village. Hes drivin her into his yard! Just as I sposed, its that little, smirkin worthless school-teacher up to the Mills.Dont break my neck, Diademy; cant you see out the other winder?Yes, hes helpin her out, n showin her in. He cant a ben married moren ten minutes, for hes goin clear up the steps to open the door for her!
Wait n see if he takes his horse out, said Hannah Sophia. Mebbe hell drive her back in a few minutes. No, hes onhitched! There, hes hangin up the head-stall!
Ive ben up in the attic chamber, called the Widow Buzzell, as she descended the stairs; shes pulled up the curtains, and took off her hat right in front o the winder, s bold as a brass kettle! Shes come to stay! Aint that Rube Hobson all over,to bring another woman int this village stid o weedin one of em out as hed oughter. He aint got any more public sperit than ahedgehog, n never had!
Almira drew on her mitts excitedly, tied on her shaker, and started for the door.
Im goin over to Eunices, she said, and Im goin to take my bottle of camphire. I shouldnt wonder a mite if I found her in a dead faint on the kitchen floor. Nobody need tell me she want buildin hopes.
Ill go with you, said the Widow Buzzell. Id like to see with my own eyes how she takes it, n itll be too late to tell if I wait till after supper. If shed ben more open with me n ever asked for my advice, I could a told her it want the first time Rube Hobson has played that trick.
Id come too if t want milkin but Jot aint home from the Centre, and Ive got to do his chores; come in as you go along back, will you? asked Diadema.
Hannah Sophia remained behind, promising to meet them at the post-office and hear the news. As the two women walked down the hill she drew the old envelope from the Bible and read the wavering words scrawled upon it in old Mrs. Bascoms rheumatic and uncertain hand,
themilikinsMillsTeecher.
Well Lucindy, you do make good use o your winder, she exclaimed, but how you pitched on anything so onlikely as her is moren I can see.
Just because t was onlikely. A mans a great sight likelier to do an onlikely thing than he is a likely one, when it comes to marryin. In the first place, Rube sent his children to school up to the Mills stid of to the brick schoolhouse, though he had to pay a little something to get em taken in to another deestrick. They used to come down at night with their hands full o ward o merit cards. Do you spose I thought they got em for good behavior, or for knowin their lessons? Then aunt Hitty told me some question or other Rube had asked examination day. Since when has Rube Hobson tended examinations, thinks I. And when I see the girl, a red-and-white paper doll that wouldnt know whether to move the churn-dasher up n down or round n round, I made up my mind that bein a man hed take her for certain, and not his next-door neighbor of a sensible age and a house n farm n cow n buggy!
Sure enough, agreed Hannah Sophia, though that dont account for Eunices queer actions, n the pacels n the fruit cake.
When I make out a case, observed Mrs. Bascom modestly, I aint one to leave weak spots in it. If I guess at all, I go all over the ground n stop when I git through. Now, sisters or no sisters, Maryabby Emery aint spoke to Eunice sence she moved to Salem. But if Eunice has ben bringin pacels home, Maryabby must a paid for what was in em; and if shes ben bakin fruit cake this hot day, why Maryabby used to be so font o fruit cake her folks were afraid shed have fits n die. I shall be watchin here as usual to-morrow morning, n if Maryabby dont drive int Eunices yard before noon I wont brag any more for a year to come.
Hannah Sophia gazed at old Mrs. Bascom with unstinted admiration. You do beat all, she said; and I wish I could stay all night n see how it turns out, but Almiry is just comin over the bridge, n I must start n meet her. Good-by. Im glad to see you so smart; you always look slim, but I guess youll tough it outs long s the rest of us. I see your log was all right, last time I was down side o the river.