Give me your hand, I said to the girl. And he wont dare to annoy us further.
She took my arm without a word, still trembling with excitement and terror. Oh, obtrusive gentleman! How I blessed you at that moment! I stole a glance at her, she was very charming and dark I had guessed right.
On her black eyelashes there still glistened a tear from her recent terror or her former grief I dont know. But there was already a gleam of a smile on her lips. She too stole a glance at me, faintly blushed and looked down.
There, you see; why did you drive me away? If I had been here, nothing would have happened
But I did not know you; I thought that you too
Why, do you know me now?
A little! Here, for instance, why are you trembling?
Oh, you are right at the rst guess! I answered, delighted that my girl had intelligence; that is never out of place in company with beauty. Yes, from the rst glance you have guessed the sort of man you have to do with. Precisely; I am shy with women, I am agitated, I dont deny it, as much so as you were a minute ago when that gentleman alarmed you. I am in some alarm now. Its like a dream, and I never guessed even in my sleep that I should ever talk with any woman.
What? Really?
Yes; if my arm trembles, it is because it has never been held by a pretty little hand like yours. Iam a complete stranger to women; that is, I have never been used to them. You see, I alone I dont even know how to talk to them. Here, I dont know now whether I have not said something silly to you! Tell me frankly; I assure you beforehand that I am not quick to take oence
No, nothing, nothing, quite the contrary. And if you insist on my speaking frankly, I will tell you that women like such timidity; and if you want to know more, I like it too, and I wont drive you away till I get home.
You will make me, I said, breathless with delight, lose my timidity, and then farewell to all my chances
Chances! What chances of what? Thats not so nice.
I beg your pardon, I am sorry, it was a slip of the tongue; but how can you expect one at such a moment to have no desire
To be liked, eh?
Well, yes; but do, for goodness sake, be kind. Think what I am! Here, I am twenty-six and I have never seen any one. How can I speak well, tactfully, and to the point? It will seem better to you when I have told you everything openly I dont know how to be silent when my heart is speaking, Well, never mind Believe me, not one woman, never, never! No acquaintance of any sort! And I do nothing but dream every day that at last I shall meet some one. Oh, if only you knew how often I have been in love in that way
How? With whom?
Why, with no one, with an ideal, with the one I dream of in my sleep. I make up regular romances in my dreams. Ah, you dont know me! Its true, of course, I have met two or three women, but what sort of women were they? They were all landladies, that But I shall make you laugh if I tell you that I have several times thought of speaking, just simply speaking, to some aristocratic lady in the street, when she is alone, I need hardly say; speaking to her, of course, timidly, respectfully, passionately; telling her that I am perishing in solitude, begging her not to send me away; saying that I have no chance of making the acquaintance of any woman; impress upon her that it is a positive duty for a woman not to repulse so timid a prayer from such a luckless man as me. That, in fact, all I ask is, that she should say two or three sisterly words with sympathy, should not repulse me at rst sight; should take me on trust and listen to what I say; should laugh at me if she likes, encourage me, say two words to me, only two words, even though we never meet again afterwards! But you are laughing; however, that is why I am telling you
How? With whom?
Why, with no one, with an ideal, with the one I dream of in my sleep. I make up regular romances in my dreams. Ah, you dont know me! Its true, of course, I have met two or three women, but what sort of women were they? They were all landladies, that But I shall make you laugh if I tell you that I have several times thought of speaking, just simply speaking, to some aristocratic lady in the street, when she is alone, I need hardly say; speaking to her, of course, timidly, respectfully, passionately; telling her that I am perishing in solitude, begging her not to send me away; saying that I have no chance of making the acquaintance of any woman; impress upon her that it is a positive duty for a woman not to repulse so timid a prayer from such a luckless man as me. That, in fact, all I ask is, that she should say two or three sisterly words with sympathy, should not repulse me at rst sight; should take me on trust and listen to what I say; should laugh at me if she likes, encourage me, say two words to me, only two words, even though we never meet again afterwards! But you are laughing; however, that is why I am telling you
Dont be vexed; I am only laughing at your being your own enemy, and if you had tried you would have succeeded, perhaps, even though it had been in the street; the simpler the better No kind-hearted woman, unless she were stupid or, still more, vexed about something at the moment, could bring herself to send you away without those two words which you ask for so timidly But what am I saying? Of course she would take you for a madman. I was judging by myself; I know a good deal about other peoples lives.