She had to drop the fucking bag, was what she had to do. Her stiff fingers didnt want to let go for a second; as always, her body betrayed her, wanting more even though it was wrong, wanting more even though it was bad. But finally they obeyed; the bag fell to the carpet with a soft thud, and Chess knelt there for a minute trying to catch her breath, swiping furiously at her damp, stinging eyes with the backs of her wrists. Shed have to touch the thing again to take it into the room and show Jillian, and the last thing she needed was for Jillian to see that anything was bothering her.
She had to drop the fucking bag, was what she had to do. Her stiff fingers didnt want to let go for a second; as always, her body betrayed her, wanting more even though it was wrong, wanting more even though it was bad. But finally they obeyed; the bag fell to the carpet with a soft thud, and Chess knelt there for a minute trying to catch her breath, swiping furiously at her damp, stinging eyes with the backs of her wrists. Shed have to touch the thing again to take it into the room and show Jillian, and the last thing she needed was for Jillian to see that anything was bothering her.
It was just a damn sex spell. Lots of people had them, big deal, right? She pressed her hand to her forehead, trying to flatten the furrows she knew were there, rubbing to ease the beginnings of what promised to be a killer headache. Just a stupid fucking sex spell. Nothing more. She was older now, she was a student at Church, in training to be a witch. She could handle a little magic. She could, and she would.
One long deep breath, then another, until they came smooth without catching in her throat. Okay. Fine. She clenched her jaw, got to her feet, and grabbed the bags.
From the closet doorway to the foot of the bed where Jillian had placed a few other items was only maybe fifteen feet. It felt like forever while Chess struggled to keep her expression calm, her chest from heaving. Jillian didnt look up until Chess reached the pile and dropped the bags just beside it. Shed done it.
Yeah, shed done it then. Once. What happened next time? Or the time after that? What kind of job was she going to find in the Church where she never had to deal with sex magic, ever?
She couldnt really think of one unless she wanted to be a Liaiser, and the idea of letting spirits have control over her body, communing with them the thought made her shudder.
Almost as much as that horrible spell bag had. She was going to have to distract herself somehow, because her heart still pounded and she still heard those distant voices telling her how bad she was, how dirty, how it was her fault, and she didnt want to hear them. Didnt want to see those faces in her mind.
Jillian peered at her. You okay?
What? Oh, yeah, Im fine. Sure. Of course. Chess twisted her lips into what she hoped looked like a wry smile. Sex magic. Kinda gross, is all.
Ooh, lets see. Jillian dropped to the floor and started digging in the bag. Wow, they werent kidding with this, were they? I wonder who they hired to make it. This doesnt feel like the normal homemade type of spell.
It doesnt?
No, its too strong. Here, take off your glove. Jillian picked up one of the luck charms and held it up, waiting until Chess had stripped off the thin latex to set it in her palm. See how it feels kind of weak? Close your eyes and really feel it.
Chess did, her face warming. Of course. Duh. Theyd just started this in class a few weeks ago, energy identification. She should have realized shit, what else might she be missing? Shed read about this, shed even practiced it, so why hadnt she tested herself on it as soon as she saw the charm bags? Why hadnt she thought to check if the energy was the same, if she could identify it?
Because she was chickenshit, thats why. Because shed been so worried about that sex spell that she hadnt even thought of it. Too selfish, too concerned about her little feelings or whatever.
She was never going to get anywhere if she didnt think more, focus better.
The energy in the luck charm was like the energy lingering in the room, only a little stronger. And Is this female? It feels like a woman made it, maybe?
To her relief, Jillian nodded. Very good. Probably Mrs. Waring. They had a couple of books on basic spells in the living room, dont know if you saw them.
Chess noddedshe hadbut again she hadnt paid attention. Shit. Shed been training for what, three hours, and she was already missing stuff, already fucking up. She couldnt even blame that on the sex spell, because she hadnt known it was there or touched it yet when they first arrived. She just hadnt noted the books, hadnt thought to feel the energy of the luck charms to see if she could identify it, hadnt thought of anything worthwhile.
Typical. Did she want to end up giving thirty-dollar blow jobs off the street corner? No. So she needed to get her shit together.
She set the luck charm down. Time for thefor the other one. While Jillian watched. Fuck.