But it didn’t seem to sway him. He just stared.
“Sam, I need to talk to you. In private,” she said.
She wanted to get him out of that environment, into the fresh air, alone, where they could really talk. She not only wanted to know about their Dad; she also just wanted to talk to him, like they used to. And to break the news about their Mom. Gently.
But it wasn’t going to happen. She could see that now. Things were spiraling downward. She felt that the energy in this crowded barn was just too dark. Too violent. She could feel herself losing control. Despite Caleb’s hand, she just couldn’t stop whatever was overcoming her.
“I’m all set here,” Sam said.
She could hear more snickering among his friends.
“Why don’t you relax?” one of the guys said to her. “You’re so high strung. Come sit. Take a hit.”
He held the bong out to her.
She turned and stared at him.
“Why don’t you shove that bong up your ass?” she heard herself say, through gritted teeth.
A chorus of heckling came from the group of boys. “Oh, SNAP!” one of them yelled.
The boy who’d offered her the hit, a big, muscular guy who she knew had been kicked off the football team, turned bright red.
“What’d you say to me, bitch?” he said, standing.
She looked up. He was much taller than she remembered, at least 6’ 6”. She could feel Caleb’s grip on her shoulder tighten. She didn’t know whether it was because he was urging her to keep calm, or because he was tensing up himself.
The tension in the room rose dramatically.
The Rottweiler crept closer. He was now only feet away. And growling like crazy.
“Jimbo, relax,” Sam said to the big kid.
There was protective Sam. No matter what, protective of her. “She’s a pain in the ass, but she didn’t mean it. She’s still my sister. Just chill.”
“I did mean it,” Caitlin yelled, angrier than ever. “You guys think you’re so cool? Getting my little brother high? You’re all a bunch of losers. You’re going nowhere. You want to mess your own lives, go ahead, but don’t drag Sam into it!”
Jimbo look even angrier, if possible. He took a few threatening steps towards her.
“Well look who it is. Miss teacher. Miss mommy. Here to tell us all what to do!”
A chorus of laughter.
“Why don’t you and your faggot boyfriend here come make me!”
Jimbo stepped closer and reached up with his big paw of a hand, and pushed Caitlin on the shoulder.
Big mistake.
The anger exploded inside of Caitlin, beyond anything she could control. The second that Jimbo’s finger touched her, she reached up with lightning speed, took his wrist, and twisted it back. There was a loud crack as his wrist broke.
She raised his wrist high behind his back, and shoved him, face first, into the ground.
In less than a second, he was on the ground, on his face, helpless. She stepped up and put her foot on the back of his neck, holding it firmly on the floor.
Jimbo screamed out in pain.
“Jesus Christ, my wrist, my wrist! Fucking bitch! She broke my wrist!”
Sam stood up, as did all the others, staring, shocked. He seemed really shocked. How his little sister could have taken down such a huge guy, and so fast, he had no idea.
“Apologize,” Caitlin snarled at Jimbo. She was shocked at the sound of her own voice. It sounded guttural. Like an animal.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jim yelled, whimpering.
Caitlin wanted to just let him go, let it be over with, but a part of her just couldn’t do it. The rage had overcome her too suddenly, too strongly. She just couldn’t let it go. It was still continuing to course, to build. She wanted to kill this boy. It was beyond reason, but she really did.
“Caitlin!?” Sam yelled. She could hear the fear in his voice. “Please!”
But Caitlin couldn’t let go. She was really going to kill this boy.
At that moment, she heard a snarl, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw the dog. It leapt, in midair, its teeth aimed right for her throat.
Caitlin reacted instantly. She let go of Jimbo and in one motion, caught the dog in midair. She got under him, grabbed hold of his stomach, and threw him.
He went flying through the air, ten feet, twenty, with such force that he went across the room and through the wooden wall of the barn. The wall cracked with a splintering noise, as the dog yelped and went flying out the other side.
Everyone in the room stared at Caitlin. They couldn’t process what they’d just witnessed. It had clearly been an act of superhuman strength and speed, and there was no possible explanation for it. They all stood there, mouths agape, staring.
Caitlin felt overwhelmed with emotion. Anger. Sadness. She didn’t know what she felt, and she didn’t trust herself anymore. She couldn’t speak. She had to get out of there. She knew Sam wouldn’t come. He was a different person now.
And so was she.
Three
Caitlin and Caleb walked slowly along the bank of the river. This side of the Hudson was neglected, littered with abandoned factories and fuel depots no longer in use. It was desolate down here, but peaceful. As she looked out, Caitlin saw huge chunks of ice floating down the river, slowly separating on this March day. Their delicate, subtle cracking noise filled the air. They looked otherworldly, reflecting the light in the strangest way, as a slow mist rose. She felt like just walking out onto one of those huge slabs of ice, sitting down, and letting it take her wherever it went.
They walked in silence, each in their own world. Caitlin felt embarrassed that she had shown such a display of rage in front of Caleb. Embarrassed that she’d been so violent, that she couldn’t control what was happening to her.
She was also embarrassed by her brother, that he’d acted the way he did, that he was hanging out with such losers. She had never seen him act like that before. She was embarrassed she had subjected Caleb to it. Hardly a way for him to meet her family. He must think the worst of her. That, more than anything, really hurt her.
Worst of all, she was afraid where they would go from here. Sam had been her best hope in finding her dad. She had no other ideas. If she did, she would have found him already, herself, years ago. She didn’t know what to tell Caleb. Would he leave now? Of course he would. She was of no use to him, and he had a sword to find. Why would he possibly stay with her?
As they walked in silence, she felt the nervousness well up, as she guessed that Caleb was just waiting for the right time to choose his words carefully, to tell her that he had to go. Like everyone else in her life.
“I’m really sorry,” she said finally, softly, “for how I acted back there. I’m sorry I lost control.”
“Don’t be. You did nothing wrong. You are learning. And you are very powerful.”
“I’m also sorry that my brother acted that way.”
He smiled. “If there is one thing I’ve learned over the centuries, it is that you cannot control your family.”
They continued walking in silence. He looked out at the river.
“So?” she asked, finally. “What now?”
He stopped and looked at her.
“Are you going to leave?” she asked hesitantly.
He looked deep in thought.
“Can you think of any other place your father may be? Anyone else who knew him? Anything?”
She had already tried. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. She shook her head.
“There must be something,” he said emphatically. “Think harder. Your memories. Don’t you have any memories?”
Caitlin thought hard. She closed her eyes and really willed herself to remember. She had asked herself that same question, so many times. She had seen her father, so many times, in dreams, that she didn’t know anymore what was a dream and what was real. She could recite dream after dream where she had seen him, always the same dream, her running in a field, him in the distance, then his getting further away as she approached. But that wasn’t him. Those were just dreams.
There were the flashbacks, memories of when she was a young child, going away with him somewhere. Somewhere in the summertime, she thought. She remembered the ocean. And its being warm, really warm. But again, she wasn’t sure if it was real. The line seemed to blur more and more. And she couldn’t remember exactly where this beach was.