LADY.
Oh! Sir… but what can I say? Thus to purpose future good deeds is, in the eyes of heaven, to have performed them already. May you receive its reward, as well as my tears.
(Exit.)
SCENE VII
Major von Tellheim
MAJ. T.
Poor, good woman! I must not forget to destroy the bill.
(Takes some papers from his pocketbook and destroys them.)
Who would guarantee that my own wants might not some day tempt me to make use of it?
SCENE VIII
Just, Major von Tellheim
MAJ. T.
Is that you, Just?
JUST. (wiping his eyes).
Yes.
MAJ. T.
You have been crying?
JUST.
I have been writing out my account in the kitchen, and the place is full of smoke. Here it is, sir.
MAJ. T.
Give it to me.
JUST.
Be merciful with me, sir. I know well that they have not been so with you; still!!!!!
MAJ. T.
What do you want?
JUST.
I should sooner have expected my death, than my discharge.
MAJ. T.
I cannot keep you any longer: I must learn to manage without servants.
(Opens the paper, and reads.)
"What my master, the Major, owes me:—Three months and a half wages, six thalers per month, is 21 thalers. During the first part of this month, laid out in sundries—1 thaler 7 groschen 9 pfennigs. Total, 22 thalers 7gr. 9pf." Right; and it is just that I also pay your wages, for the whole of the current month.
JUST.
Turn over, sir.
MAJ. T.
Oh! more?
(Reads.)
"What I owe my master, the Major:—Paid for me to the army-surgeon twenty-five thalers. Attendance and nurse during my cure, paid for me, thirty-nine thalers. Advanced, at my request, to my father—who was burnt out of his house and robbed—without reckoning the two horses of which he made him a present, fifty thalers. Total 114 thalers. Deduct the above 22 thalers, 7gr. 9pf.; I remain in debt to my master, the Major, 91 thalers, 16gr. 3pf." You are mad, my good fellow!
JUST.
I willingly grant that I owe you much more; but it would be wasting ink to write it down. I cannot pay you that: and if you take my livery from me too, which, by the way, I have not yet earned,—I would rather you had let me die in the workhouse.
MAJ. T.
For what do you take me? You owe me nothing; and I will recommend you to one of my friends, with whom you will fare better than with me.
JUST.
I do not owe you anything, and yet you turn me away!
MAJ. T.
Because I do not wish to owe you anything.
JUST.
On that account? Only on that account? As certain as I am in your debt, as certain as you can never be in mine, so certainly shall you not turn me away now. Do what you will, Major, I remain in your service; I must remain.
MAJ. T.
With your obstinacy, your insolence, your savage boisterous temper towards all who you think have no business to speak to you, your malicious pranks, your love of revenge,!!!!!
JUST.
Make me as bad as you will, I shall not think worse of myself than of my dog. Last winter I was walking one evening at dusk along the river, when I heard something whine. I stooped down, and reached in the direction whence the sound came, and when I thought I was saving a child, I pulled a dog out of the water. That is well, thought I. The dog followed me; but I am not fond of dogs, so I drove him away—in vain. I whipped him away—in vain. I shut him out of my room at night;
he lay down before the door. If he came too near me, I kicked him; he yelped, looked up at me, and wagged his tail. I have never yet given him a bit of bread with my own hand; and yet I am the only person whom he will obey, or who dare touch him. He jumps about me, and shows off his tricks to me, without my asking for them. He is an ugly dog, but he is a good animal. If he carries it on much longer, I shall at last give over hating him.
MAJ. T. (aside).
As I do him. No, there is no one perfectly inhuman. Just, we will not part.
JUST.
Certainly not! And you wanted to manage without servants! You forget your wounds, and that you only have the use of one arm. Why, you are not able to dress alone. I am indispensable to you; and I am—without boasting, Major,—I am a servant who, if the worst comes to the worst, can beg and steal for his master.
MAJ. T.
Just, we will part.
JUST.
All right, Sir!
SCENE IX
Servant, Major von Tellheim, Just
SER.
I say, comrade!
JUST.
What is the matter?
SER.
Can you direct me to the officer who lodged yesterday in that room?
(Pointing to the one out of which he is coming).
JUST.
That I could easily do. What have you got for him?
SER.
What we always have, when we have nothing—compliments. My mistress hears that he has been turned out on her account. My mistress knows good manners, and I am therefore to beg his pardon.
JUST.
Well then, beg his pardon; there he stands.
SER.
What is he? What is his name?
MAJ. T.
I have already heard your message, my friend. It is unnecessary politeness on the part of your mistress, which I beg to acknowledge duly. Present my compliments to her. What is the name of your mistress?
SER.
Her name! We call her my Lady.
MAJ. T.
The name of her family?
SER.
I have not heard that yet, and it is not my business to ask. I manage so that I generally get a new master every six weeks. Hang all their names!
JUST.
Bravo, comrade!
SER.
I was engaged by my present mistress a few days ago, in Dresden. I believe she has come here to look for her lover.
MAJ. T.
Enough, friend. I wished to know the name of your mistress, not her secrets. Go!
SER.
Comrade, he would not do for my master.
SCENE X
Major von Tellheim, Just
MAJ. T.
Just! see that we get out of this house directly! The politeness of this strange lady affects me more than the churlishness of the host.
Here, take this ring—the only thing of value which I have left—of which I never thought such a use. Pawn it! get eighty louis d'ors for it: our host's bill can scarcely amount to thirty. Pay him, and remove my things.... Ah, where? Where you will. The cheaper the inn, the better. You will find me in the neighbouring coffee-house. I am going;
you will see to it all properly?
JUST.
Have no fear, Major!
MAJ. T. (comes back).
Above all things, do not let my pistols be forgotten, which hang beside the bed.
JUST.
I will forget nothing.
MAJ. T. (comes back again).
Another thing: bring your dog with you too. Do you hear, Just?
SCENE XI
Just
JUST.
The dog will not stay behind, he will take care of that. Hem! My master still had this valuable ring and carried it in his pocket instead of on his finger! My good landlord, we are not yet so poor as we look. To him himself, I will pawn you, you beautiful little ring! I know he will be annoyed that you will not all be consumed in his house. Ah!
SCENE XII
Paul Werner, Just
JUST.
Hullo, Werner! good-day to you, Werner. Welcome to the town.
WER.
The accursed village! I can't manage to get at home in it again.
Merry, my boys, merry; I have got some more money! Where is the Major?
JUST.
He must have met you; he just went down stairs.
WER.
I came up the back stairs. How is he? I should have been with you last week, but!!!!!
JUST.
Well, what prevented you?
WER.
Just, did you ever hear of Prince Heraclius?
JUST.
Heraclius? Not that I know of.
WER.
Don't you know the great hero of the East?
JUST.
I know the wise men of the East well enough, who go about with the stars on New Year's Eve.
WER.
Brother, I believe you read the newspapers as little as the Bible. You do not know Prince Heraclius. Not know the brave man who seized Persia, and will break into the Ottoman Porte in a few days? Thank God, there is still war somewhere in the world! I have long enough hoped it would break out here again. But there they sit and take care of their skins. No, a soldier I was, and a soldier I must be again! In short, (looking round carefully, to see if anyone is listening) between ourselves, Just, I am going to Persia, to have a few campaigns against the Turks, under his Royal Highness Prince Heraclius.
JUST.
You?
WER.
I myself. Our ancestors fought bravely against the Turks; and so ought we too, if we would be honest men and good Christians. I allow that a campaign against the Turks cannot be half so pleasant as one against the French; but then it must be so much the more beneficial in this world and the next. The swords of the Turks are all set with diamonds.