With pleasure, Philip replied, quite delighted at the chance of solving the mystery of where the stranger had dropped from. Im going that way myself, and can take you past her door. Its only a few steps. Then youre a stranger in England?
The newcomer smiled a curious self-restrained smile. He was both young and handsome. Yes, Im a stranger in your England, he answered, gravely, in the tone of one who wishes to avoid an awkward discussion. In fact, an Alien. I only arrived here this very morning.
From the Continent? Philip inquired, arching his eyebrows slightly.
The stranger smiled again. No, not from the Continent, he replied, with provoking evasiveness.
I thought you werent a foreigner, Philip continued in a blandly suggestive voice. That is to say, he went on, after a seconds pause, during which the stranger volunteered no further statement, you speak English like an Englishman.
Do I? the stranger answered. Well, Im glad of that. Itll make intercourse with your Englishmen so much more easy.
By this time Philips curiosity was thoroughly whetted. But youre not an Englishman, you say? he asked, with a little natural hesitation.
No, not exactly what you call an Englishman, the stranger replied, as if he didnt quite care for such clumsy attempts to examine his antecedents. As I tell you, Im an Alien. But we always spoke English at home, he added with an afterthought, as if ready to vouchsafe all the other information that lay in his power.
You cant be an American, Im sure, Philip went on, unabashed, his eagerness to solve the question at issue, once raised, getting the better for the moment of both reserve and politeness.
No, Im certainly not an American, the stranger answered with a gentle courtesy in his tone that made Philip feel ashamed of his rudeness in questioning him.
Nor a Colonist? Philip asked once more, unable to take the hint.
Nor a Colonist either, the Alien replied curtly. And then he relapsed into a momentary silence which threw upon Philip the difficult task of continuing the conversation.
The member of Her Britannic Majestys Civil Service would have given anything just that minute to say to him frankly, Well, if youre not an Englishman, and youre not an American, and youre not a Colonist, and you ARE an Alien, and yet you talk English like a native, and have always talked it, why, what in the name of goodness do you want us to take you for? But he restrained himself with difficulty. There was something about the stranger that made him feel by instinct it would be more a breach of etiquette to question him closely than to question any one he had ever met with.
They walked on along the road for some minutes together, the stranger admiring all the way the golden tresses of the laburnum and the rich perfume of the lilac, and talking much as he went of the quaintness and prettiness of the suburban houses. Philip thought them pretty, too (or rather, important), but failed to see for his own part where the quaintness came in. Nay, he took the imputation as rather a slur on so respectable a neighbourhood: for to be quaint is to be picturesque, and to be picturesque is to be old-fashioned. But the strangers voice and manner were so pleasant, almost so ingratiating, that Philip did not care to differ from him on the abstract question of a qualifying epithet. After all, theres nothing positively insulting in calling a house quaint, though Philip would certainly have preferred, himself, to hear the Eligible Family Residences of that Aristocratic Neighbourhood described in auctioneering phrase as imposing, noble, handsome, or important-looking.
Just before they reached Miss Blakes door, the Alien paused for a second. He took out a loose handful of money, gold and silver together, from his trouser pocket. One more question, he said, with that pleasant smile on his lips, if youll excuse my ignorance. Which of these coins is a pound, now, and which is a sovereign?
Why, a pound IS a sovereign, of course, Philip answered briskly, smiling the genuine British smile of unfeigned astonishment that anybody should be ignorant of a minor detail in the kind of life he had always lived among. To be sure, he would have asked himself with equal simplicity what was the difference between a twenty-franc piece, a napoleon, and a louis, or would have debated as to the precise numerical relation between twenty-five cents and a quarter of a dollar; but then, those are mere foreign coins, you see, which no fellow can be expected to understand, unless he happens to have lived in the country they are used in. The others are British and necessary to salvation. That feeling is instinctive in the thoroughly provincial English nature. No Englishman ever really grasps for himself the simple fact that England is a foreign country to foreigners; if strangers happen to show themselves ignorant of any petty matter in English life, he regards their ignorance as silly and childish, not to be compared for a moment to his own natural unfamiliarity with the absurd practices of foreign nations.
The Alien, indeed, seemed to have learned beforehand this curious peculiarity of the limited English intellect; for he blushed slightly as he replied, I know your currency, as a matter of arithmetic, of course: twelve pence make one shilling; twenty shillings make one pound
Of course, Philip echoed in a tone of perfect conviction; it would never have occurred to him to doubt for a moment that everybody knew intuitively those beggarly elements of the inspired British monetary system.
Though theyre singularly awkward units of value for any one accustomed to a decimal coinage: so unreasonable and illogical, the stranger continued blandly, turning over the various pieces with a dubious air of distrust and uncertainty.
I BEG your pardon, Philip said, drawing himself up very stiff, and scarcely able to believe his ears (he was an official of Her Britannic Majestys Government, and unused to such blasphemy). Do I understand you to say, you consider pounds, shillings, and pence UNREASONABLE?
He put an emphasis on the last word that might fairly have struck terror to the strangers breast; but somehow it did not. Why, yes, the Alien went on with imperturbable gentleness: no order or principle, you know. No rational connection. A mere survival from barbaric use. A score, and a dozen. The score is one man, ten fingers and ten toes; the dozen is one man with shoes onfingers and feet together. Twelve pence make one shilling; twenty shillings one pound. How very confusing! And then, the nomenclatures so absurdly difficult! Which of these is half-a-crown, if you please, and which is a florin? and what are their respective values in pence and shillings?
Philip picked out the coins and explained them to him separately. The Alien meanwhile received the information with evident interest, as a traveller in that vast tract that is called Abroad might note the habits and manners of some savage tribe that dwells within its confines, and solemnly wrapped each coin up in paper, as his instructor named it for him, writing the designation and value outside in a peculiarly beautiful and legible hand. Its so puzzling, you see, he said in explanation, as Philip smiled another superior and condescending British smile at this infantile proceeding; the currency itself has no congruity or order: and then, even these queer unrelated coins havent for the most part their values marked in words or figures upon them.
Everybody knows what they are, Philip answered lightly. Though for a moment, taken aback by the novelty of the idea, he almost admitted in his own mind that to people who had the misfortune to be born foreigners, there WAS perhaps a slight initial difficulty in this unlettered system. But then, you cannot expect England to be regulated throughout for the benefit of foreigners! Though, to be sure, on the one occasion when Philip had visited the Rhine and Switzerland, he had grumbled most consumedly from Ostend to Grindelwald, at those very decimal coins which the stranger seemed to admire so much, and had wondered why the deuce Belgium, Germany, Holland, and Switzerland could not agree among themselves upon a uniform coinage; it would be so much more convenient to the British tourist. For the British tourist, of course, is NOT a foreigner.