Everybody knows what they are, Philip answered lightly. Though for a moment, taken aback by the novelty of the idea, he almost admitted in his own mind that to people who had the misfortune to be born foreigners, there WAS perhaps a slight initial difficulty in this unlettered system. But then, you cannot expect England to be regulated throughout for the benefit of foreigners! Though, to be sure, on the one occasion when Philip had visited the Rhine and Switzerland, he had grumbled most consumedly from Ostend to Grindelwald, at those very decimal coins which the stranger seemed to admire so much, and had wondered why the deuce Belgium, Germany, Holland, and Switzerland could not agree among themselves upon a uniform coinage; it would be so much more convenient to the British tourist. For the British tourist, of course, is NOT a foreigner.
On the door-step of Miss Blakes Furnished Apartments for Families and Gentlemen, the stranger stopped again. One more question, he interposed in that same suave voice, if Im not trespassing too much on your time and patience. For what sort of termby the day, month, yeardoes one usually take lodgings?
Why, by the week, of course, Philip answered, suppressing a broad smile of absolute surprise at the mans childish ignorance.
And how much shall I have to pay? the Alien went on quietly. Have you any fixed rule about it?
Of course not, Philip answered, unable any longer to restrain his amusement (everything in England was of course to Philip). You pay according to the sort of accommodation you require, the number of your rooms, and the nature of the neighbourhood.
I see, the Alien replied, imperturbably polite, in spite of Philips condescending manner. And what do I pay per room in this latitude and longitude?
For twenty seconds, Philip half suspected his new acquaintance of a desire to chaff him: but as at the same time the Alien drew from his pocket a sort of combined compass and chronometer which he gravely consulted for his geographical bearings, Philip came to the conclusion he must be either a seafaring man or an escaped lunatic. So he answered him to the point. I should think, he said quietly, as Miss Blakes are extremely respectable lodgings, in a first-rate quarter, and with a splendid view, youll probably have to pay somewhere about three guineas.
Three what? the stranger interposed, with an inquiring glance at the little heap of coins he still held before him.
Philip misinterpreted his glance. Perhaps thats too much for you, he suggested, looking severe; for if people cannot afford to pay for decent rooms, they have no right to invade an aristocratic suburb, and bespeak the attention of its regular residents.
Oh, thats not it, the Alien put in, reading his tone aright. The money doesnt matter to me. As long as I can get a tidy room, with sun and air, I dont mind what I pay. Its the guinea I cant quite remember about for the moment. I looked it up, I know, in a dictionary at home; but Im afraid Ive forgotten it. Let me see; its twenty-one pounds to the guinea, isnt it? Then Im to pay about sixty-three pounds a week for my lodgings.
This was the right spirit. He said it so simply, so seriously, so innocently, that Philip was quite sure he really meant it. He was prepared, if necessary, to pay sixty odd pounds a week in rent. Now, a man like that is the proper kind of man for a respectable neighbourhood. Hell keep a good saddle-horse, join the club, and play billiards freely. Philip briefly explained to him the nature of his mistake, pointing out to him that a guinea was an imaginary coin, unrepresented in metal, but reckoned by prescription at twenty-one shillings. The stranger received the slight correction with such perfect nonchalance, that Philip at once conceived a high opinion of his wealth and solvency, and therefore of his respectability and moral character. It was clear that pounds and shillings were all one to him. Philip had been right, no doubt, in his first diagnosis of his queer acquaintance as a man of distinction. For wealth and distinction are practically synonyms in England for one and the same quality, possession of the wherewithal.
As they parted, the stranger spoke again, still more at sea. And are there any special ceremonies to be gone through on taking up lodgings? he asked quite gravely. Any religious rites, I mean to say? Any poojah or so forth? That is, he went on, as Philips smile broadened, is there any taboo to be removed or appeased before I can take up my residence in the apartments?
By this time Philip was really convinced he had to do with a madmanperhaps a dangerous lunatic. So he answered rather testily, No, certainly not; how absurd! you must see thats ridiculous. Youre in a civilised country, not among Australian savages. All youll have to do is to take the rooms and pay for them. Im sorry I cant be of any further use to you, but Im pressed for time to-day. So now, good-morning.
As for the stranger, he turned up the path through the lodging-house garden with curious misgivings. His heart failed him. It was half-past three by mean solar time for that particular longitude. Then why had this young man said so briskly, Good morning, at 3.30 P.M., as if on purpose to deceive him? Was he laying a trap? Was this some wile and guile of the English medicine-men?
II
Next day was (not unnaturally) Sunday. At half-past ten in the morning, according to his wont, Philip Christy was seated in the drawing-room at his sisters house, smooth silk hat in gloved hand, waiting for Frida and her husband, Robert Monteith, to go to church with him. As he sat there, twiddling his thumbs, or beating the devils tattoo on the red Japanese table, the housemaid entered. A gentleman to see you, sir, she said, handing Philip a card. The young man glanced at it curiously. A visitor to call at such an early hour!and on Sunday morning too! How extremely odd! This was really most irregular!
So he looked down at the card with a certain vague sense of inarticulate disapproval. But he noticed at the same time it was finer and clearer and more delicately engraved than any other card he had ever yet come across. It bore in simple unobtrusive letters the unknown name, Mr. Bertram Ingledew.
Though he had never heard it before, name and engraving both tended to mollify Philips nascent dislike. Show the gentleman in, Martha, he said in his most grandiose tone; and the gentleman entered.
Philip started at sight of him. It was his friend the Alien. Philip was quite surprised to see his madman of last night; and what was more disconcerting still, in the self-same grey tweed home-spun suit he had worn last evening. Now, nothing can be more gentlemanly, dont you know, than a grey home-spun, IN its proper place; but its proper place Philip Christy felt was certainly NOT in a respectable suburb on a Sunday morning.
I beg your pardon, he said frigidly, rising from his seat with his sternest official airthe air he was wont to assume in the anteroom at the office when outsiders called and wished to interview his chief on important public business. To what may I owe the honour of this visit? For he did not care to be hunted up in his sisters house at a moments notice by a most casual acquaintance, whom he suspected of being an escaped lunatic.
Bertram Ingledew, for his part, however, advanced towards his companion of last night with the frank smile and easy bearing of a cultivated gentleman. He was blissfully unaware of the slight he was putting upon the respectability of Brackenhurst by appearing on Sunday in his grey tweed suit; so he only held out his hand as to an ordinary friend, with the simple words, You were so extremely kind to me last night, Mr. Christy, that as I happen to know nobody here in England, I ventured to come round and ask your advice in unexpected circumstances that have since arisen.