«What the fuck are you doing?»
«I do not go out from your home with an hard cock, Sean. I will solve the problem, then I will be on my way as you asked me. Now if you do not want to stay here and watch, you can go out and let jerk off in peace.»
«Christ, I thought your brother had brought up you better than that.»
Ash laughed.
«I hang out with you and the Red Shadows since I was little, Sean, I'm not a bad guy who goes around shooting and stealing, but I'm also not a shrinking violet. You and my brother can protect me as you wish, I doubt that you will keep me from having sex if I feel like it though. I know what I want, and you can’t make me change my mind.»
In record time I was banging him on the wall.
«Do you want to give your ass around? You can forget it, brat!»
«Is it just fine if I give it to you, Sean?»
«Not to me idiot. I was drunk, if I was sober I would not even touched you.»
«Are you sure?»
«When did you become so arrogant, little kid?»
«Since I have to deal with a gang of idiots who do not realize that I am not a child anymore. Now let me go, my desire as gone.»
But now I was lost. The idea of Ash, with another man, any other men, almost made me get out of my head. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me before using the other hand to begin to touch him. I heard him gasp and the idea to let him be gone, seemed totally ridiculous. I took him to climax, enjoying every moan, every twitch of his tight cock in my fist and I could not find a wrong thing. Fuck Cam if he had discovered it, fuck if it would be the last time, fuck everything. At that moment, Ash was mine.
I watched him get dressed while I was still lying naked on the bed. When he was ready to leave, he went to the bed and I did not have the strength to fight his sweet and inexperienced kiss.
«We did not do sex tonight. You wanted to take me home but then we touched each other and kissed and we went to your house. You were so drunk that you fell asleep.»
I laughed.
«I know you want me, and if you are worried about my brother, you can feel comfortable, I will not say him anything.»
«Your brother is only a part of the problem, Ash. You are just seventeen, oh well eighteen, and I’m twenty-four. My life isn’t totally honest and you really deserve better. Your brother promised your mother he would not have brought you into the lap of the bands and I will not put myself in the middle. It's true, I want you, and I do not even understand why, but there can be nothing between us.»
«Yes, yes, I know the lesson, Sean. I'm going home now.»
I let him get away from me even if it was the last thing I wanted to do. I do not even know how we were gathered together the night before but it did not matter. I was sure that now that I had him in my bed, I had touched his skin, I knew what he could do to make me lose my head, I would have fallen into his net whenever he wanted to.
I was fucked! Shit!
2
«Are you listening to me?»
«Eh?»
I looked at Cameron. It was my best friend since forever. I remember that after the death of his parents, he and Asher had spent a week at my house. We had talked about his brother, deciding together how he should deal with the eleven year brother that followed him like a shadow.
Their parents had been murdered in front of their house, before the eyes of frightened neighbors, who tried however to help as best as they could. A month later my parents were murdered too, and Cameron had never left me alone. That bloodshed was continued with Connor and Axel’s parents and Colin’s father and Robert's mother because they did not want to surrender to the Black Devils, let their children join that band.
Me, Cam, Axel, Colin, Connor and Robert were all friends since we’re children. Blinded by the hate for the Devils and hungry for revenge, we made up a team, learning to defend ourselves and to defend our neighborhood. We had become the Red Shadows, shadows with a red blood soul, like the one of our fathers and our mothers. They died to give us a chance to live a different life. They don’t want us to become a street gang, selling drugs and with an itchy trigger finger.
In the end we had become, however, a band. Overwhelmed by hate until we had lost one of us, Robert. That loss still hurt everyone. After losing him, we had calmed down and we were dedicated to protect our neighborhood without creating too much troubles. But now the Devils were trying again to enter our territory.
«Sean, come on, man, what the fuck? You're not even listening to me.»
I stared at him.
«Are we making the right choice, Cam?», I asked thoughtful.
«We're doing the only possible one, Sean. Why suddenly do you have doubts? You've convinced us to do this thing and now, what? You don’t want to do that?»
«No, I am good. I was just thinking. Will you tell Ash?», I asked him without looking him in the eyes.
«No, I will not do it. I want him out of this, Sean, I want him out of this life. I want that he studies, he is smart and deserves a better life than the one we lived after the death of our parents. I do not want he spend his time angry. I want him to find someone and built a life out of this shit.»
I nodded. I agreed. I also wanted the same things for Ash. Even if I wanted him in every way and I wanted him for myself, that does not change the fact that he should have had a different life from the one he could find staying in the neighborhood.
«Today he turns eighteen. He told me he is gay, you know it?»
«It seems to me that he did not hide it from you.»
«He said that he had doubts, then last week he told me that his doubts were over. That little shit ... I asked him how could he be sure and do you know what he answered? That when you k off thinking only about a man there was not much room for doubt.»
We both laughed. Cam was absolutely straight and he knew about my bisexuality. It was the first one to whom I had said it and he didn’t care. When I told the others, I discovered not to be the only one to be attracted to men. That day we had all taken a colossal hangover, some of us were celebrating having had the courage to come out and toasted the others because there would be more women for them, because when you said to be bisexual you ended up to ninety percent fall in love with a man. Cameron was absolutely convinced of that.
«You know that, when he’ll suffer for a guy I will send him straight to you. I do not know what to tell him and would end up shooting at that dick who will mess up with my brother. You're usually more friendly.»
I almost choked with the beer I was drinking and I decided it was time to change the subject because the memory of the day before with Ash, naked in my bed, did not want to leave me alone.
«Come on, that's enough talk. Tell me about the delivery. Was he there?»
«Yes, he was with us all the time. The trip was also fun. He and Connor get caught all the time. We delivered the goods and everything went well. Ryan took the money. We throw the bait, Sean.»
«Now we wait for him to take a bite. While you were away, Axel had a little problem with The Bulldog. The bastards shot him and hit Colin, I used an entire bottle of whiskey to convince him not to go into their territory and try to take them all out. I think those bastards are allying with the Devils. We are outnumbered Cam, we must be careful.»
«Do you want to take new recruits?»
«No, only Ryan will become part of the gang. We need him.»
«How do you want to proceed?»
«As we have always done, Cam. They have the numbers, we have the brain and now Ryan. We will not stop until even just one of those sons of bitches will be on the streets.»
«Do you never ask yourself what our parents would say if they could see us now? A gun on that we are no longer afraid to use. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if they were still alive.»
«They all died, Cam. Imagining how it would be cannot bring them back to life.»
«Go and do the hard dick-head with someone else, Sean. I know you miss your parents like me and Ash miss ours. The fact that you do not allow yourself to think about them does not make it less real than the fact that you miss them.»