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At the same time, significant changes happened in our life. Olegs job with a good salary was an hour drive each way. He decided to switch to a closer location, to be able to spend more time with the family. Unfortunately, his new location was not as busy. Olegs income decreased because there was less work and he was paid on a piece rate.
At about the same time, Olegs Father passed away at the age of 54. It was a big hit for Olegs whole family. It took them a while to accept it and move on.
Soon after, I injured my shoulders, which led to pain for the next few years and frequent doctor visits. Also, the economy took a downfall and our WIC department received a layoff notice due to lack of funding. I was going to lose my job in a year.
Between the house payment, car payments, our credit cards and other expenses, I wondered if we would ever be able to pay off our debt. I often cried out to God that we didnt have the strength to handle this.
One day, my friend invited me to a prayer group, where God spoke to me, My daughter, give your worry to Me and I will help you. All I need from you is PRAISE! So, every time I worried, I praised God and His peace would come. It was such a wonderful feeling! Inside my heart I knew that God would help us.
The downturn in the economy also impacted my brothers and sisters. At that time, our parents started a family prayer time on Wednesday evenings at their house. Together with our children, we worshiped God and prayed for our needs and for needs of others.
One evening, my Aunt prophesied to most of the people in the group, and then to me, My daughter, prepare yourself for an ordeal. Pray often for strength when a disaster comes to your family.
I was scared and thought that something bad would happen to Oleg. Later that evening, my Grandmother came up to me and said, Learn to be humble and patient. I praised God often and prayed for His protection over our family.
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One month was replaced by another and the time of my lay-off was getting closer. We made financial changes in our family. Unbelievably, our debt became smaller. We sold both cars, eliminating two big payments and bought cheaper cars. Saving every penny, we tried our hardest to pay off our credit cards. I stopped going shopping and sometimes even went to a food bank to get help with food. The year of lay-off notice gave us time to adjust to a lower income.
Surprisingly, a year and a half later, we were debt free, except the mortgage payment, which was still very high relative to our income. We sought a loan modification, which took about three years to be finalized. Looking back, we were amazed at how God had helped us. I stayed at home with David, Kristina, and Michael, who were 11, 10 and 6 years old. We were happy together and thanked God for blessing us.
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4
You never know what your real values are until you
are faced with difficult real-life choices.
We love children and were delighted to find out that I was pregnant with our fourth child. In the sixth week of the pregnancy I developed complications and went to see the doctor.
Olga, the ultrasound shows two fetuses, the doctor said. But one is smaller and not developing, and the other one is bigger and growing. This creates a risk of miscarriage. I need to prescribe strict bed rest for you.
A miscarriage? Two babies? One is not developing? A sense of dread descended over me like a shroud. Scared, I implored God to save our baby, if it was His will. A few weeks later, I felt better and one of the fetuses survived.
At four months of pregnancy I went for a second ultrasound.
It is a BOY! the nurse said.
Then she paused, seemed worried.
Actually, let me go get the doctor, she said. There seems to be a problem here.
The doctor came and very carefully examined the ultrasound images. The look of his face registered concern. I knew immediately, there were serious problems.
Olga, when we do the ultrasound, we can see if the babys heart is healthy. If a baby has Downs Syndrome or Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, the heart looks different. I can see the left side of your babys heart is not developing. It means he has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which is not good news.
For a moment, I couldnt speak. My heart started beating rapidly and my hands started shaking.
What? Our baby has health problems? tears filled my eyes.
This is a very rare heart defect which occurs in only 1 of 2,500 births. Usually, with this syndrome, 50% of babies also have Downs Syndrome. Your baby has no chance for life once born, the doctor explained.
Is there anything you can do to fix this problem? I asked shakely.
Previously, these babies had been dying right after birth. But 30 years ago, the doctors began doing surgeries to correct such problems. Usually they do an open-heart surgery on the first day of the babys life. Then, another surgery at six months, and the third one at the age of three years. The recovery is very difficult and not many babies survive these surgeries, the doctor answered with a sad tone.
I was devastated and shocked by the news and could not believe this was happening. Why had God allowed me to survive the risk of miscarriage, to let this happen to my child? I wasnt sure if I would be able to handle this situation, but just because I thought this, it didnt make the problems of my pregnancy go away. What if I could not handle this situation emotionally or physically? What about our other children? The questions raced through my mind. Then reality grabbed me. No matter how many questions I had, none of the answers would take away the harsh reality of this pregnancy.
Olga, I am referring you to a high-risk pregnancy specialist, in case you consider an abortion, the doctor continued.
I cant do an abortion. This is our baby, whom we already love so much.
All in tears I left the doctors office. Outside, shaking, crying, and having a hard time concentrating, I called Oleg at work and told him the devastating news.
Our baby is a boy, who is having many heart issues. He will die if we dont do the surgeries. Why did God let it happen to us?
Olga, God will help us. We should trust in His will, Oleg said with a calm voice.
But I thought reality is reality and miracles just dont happen in todays world. Men often hide their feelings and dont talk about them as much as women do. I wondered whether this was Oleg true feeling or if he was telling me what I needed to hear.
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That minute I remembered the Bible story of Job that Oleg and I had recently read. Job was a blameless, upright person, who feared God and shunned evil. Satan thought that Job was righteous because God had blessed him.
If you take everything away from Job, I will prove to You that Job will curse you, Satan told God.
I let you test Job. I am sure he will not curse Me. He is a righteous and blameless person, God replied to Satan.
With Gods permission Satan tested Job, by destroying his wealth, killing all his children and taking his health away from Job. But Job didnt curse God. He remained loyal to Him. Satan was proved wrong and God blessed Job even more than before, by giving him more children and wealth. I wondered if God was testing us, as He had tested Job?
I drove directly to Moms house to see and talk to her. I knew her comfort would be forth coming.
Our baby has very serious heart issues and may be born very ill, I broke in tears. He may not even survive
Daughter, please dont cry. Give your worry to God. He is in charge of everything and He will help you. We will be praying for your baby, hugging me, Mom tried to calm me down.
I picked up our children and went home. Later that evening, Oleg and I talked to our children.